Questions And Delightful Sex From Miss

Yesterday afternoon and Miss was working from home.  Neither of us has had any need to say it again since Miss asked that question but it was very apparent to us both that our sexual relationship has reached a position, an aspect perhaps that we both finally understand.  We understand that i am a sissy and that this is how i am going to be for the rest of my life.  We understand that Miss does not really get any form of sexual satisfaction from me being a sissy all of the time.  Miss came to sit by me late in the afternoon and i explained to Her that i thought there were some ways in which i could 'get rid' of the new Mistress - whose continuing presence in my life is causing Miss great concern.

 

1.  You leave me Miss.

2.  i let Mistress know that i don't want to be Her sissy anymore.

3.  Mistress lets me know that She has no need for me as Her sissy.

4.  You order me to tell Mistress option 2.

5.  You take a lover.

 

Miss told me that She was not going to leave me, which was a great relief, although i still do feel that it might happen.  Option 1 off the table.  Miss told me that it is down to me to tell Mistress, so option 4 off the table.  Option 3 could happen at any time.  Option 5?  Miss then began explaining how it would be too complicated, too time consuming, too tiring and interestingly, cause me to resent Her if She took a lover. 

 

It was not the time nor place to even try and counter any of Her thoughts.  That would have been counter-productive and more than likely have ended up with arguments.  No, i kept silent.  It is wonderful to hear Miss talk about the subject and just as wonderful to hear Her project Her thoughts as to why having a lover would be hard to do.  Let Her, almost like Gollum does, pitch the pros and cons out there to Herself. 

 

Miss knows my thoughts and why i think it would not be complicated so there was no need to keep going back at Her with the same counter-arguments She has heard many times before.  What i do think however is that whilst Miss might get some sort of pleasure physically from me She will never be able to get the physical pleasures She wants and deserves.  Now this does not mean that we don't love each other hugely. 

 

To Miss it must be incredibly frustrating to know that i can only get my sexual excitement from being with Her as a sissy.  Both physically and emotionally.  i can totally relate to this because She is a gorgeous Woman who would have no problems whatsoever attracting a Man.  She still has so much to offer sexually and lots of time in life for that.  So when She sees me mincing around in lingerie, when She feels me kissing Her like a girl, when She has to hear me talk about my penis as a clit, and none of it arouses Her like sex with a Real Man does then how can i possibly be providing Her with sexual satisfaction? 

 

i hope Miss does not think though that it is the concept of being a sissy that does it for me?  It certainly is not only that.  It is being with Her as a sissy that does it for me.  It's the love i have for Her for allowing me to be who i am, to tolerate it.  Most of all it is when She helps me with it sexually....by what She says, by what She does for me with pleasures.  This is sex AND love.  By not leaving me because i am a sissy Miss has perhaps quietly signalled to me that She can deal with it and when i see it like that it makes me love Her even more.

 

But....just how much lack of sexual fulfilment can Miss stomach? Yes....i can make Her cum but how much more of this type of sex, with me in lingerie, false tits, gowns, skirts, blouses, dresses, moaning like a girl, kissing like a girl, cumming like a girl can Miss put up with if it's the only of type of sex i can provide?  i don't know the answer to that.  Is She really going to be happy sexually with this for the next twenty something years??

 

i have now told 'new' Mistress that i can no longer be Her sissy....Why did i do that?  To save us.  i love Miss not Mistress.  So simple and so easy and so right.  Miss does not know i have done that yet.  So option 2 is off the table.  You may have picked up on this already but i see these 'options' as the things that can save our relationship and make us better together.  It's not rocket science now to see what is left.  Option 5.  A lover for Miss.

 

Yes, i'll get a huge sexual thrill from it but....and the biggest but is that i absolutely believe that Miss taking a lover will be the best thing that could happen for Her.  Even more important than what will happen for us.  i'm not leaving Her..She's not leaving me (i think?!) and i'm always a sissy.  Just what is left?  Option 5.  i'm currently carrying out an experiment around Option 5 that i'd like Miss to allow me to let run until the end of February.  It does not put Her in any compromising positions or any awkward situations. It is simply a test which i'd like Miss to allow me to do and then show Her what my findings are.  Miss reads the blog so 'please Miss, of course acknowledge what i'm doing but trust me and let me run it to the end of Feb and please allow me to show you what i've done.  i promise that there is no harm to you in what i'm doing'. 

 

 

 

Last night i told Miss over dinner that i'd love to have some fun and frolics with Her that evening and i told Her i'd like to cum on a pair of Her black lace panties (whilst She wore them). i told Her i'd like to make Her cum with my tongue and fingers too.  i wanted to please Her and to give Her an orgasm.  Miss presented Herself to me later looking absolutely stunning.  Donned in a gorgeous full length light green satin Olga gown, natural hold up stockings and a hot pair of black lace panties with a sheer polka dot back.  Stunning!  i wore (very surprisingly for a sissy), a black full length night gown, black lace bra with breast forms, black lace panties, black lace suspender belt and smoky grey stockings.

 

i fully expected Miss to allow my pleasure in Her chambers but She insisted we did it on the sofa in the living room.  i so wanted to give Her an orgasm but it seemed Miss felt that She 'could not cum'.  Was this down to me and me being dressed as i was just not doing it for Her?  That has not always been the case in the past but perhaps now....now that we are where we are in 'understanding'....maybe that's it for Miss.  In a way that turned me on even more but in a way it also made me a bit sad if true.  i hope it is not true.  My oral attention to Her gorgeous petals was not going to bring about the result i so wanted Her to have and rather than force this or get upset about it i concentrated on showing my love for Her by doing as i promised....cumming on Her panties. 

 

'The front or the back' asked Miss.  'Both' i replied!  Knowing i could not physically achieve that but also wanting to have all of Her all at once, knowing that i wanted to take in all of Her sexiness at the same time but i had to choose.  'Front please Miss'.  Her panties were very wet.  Not from Her arousal but from my previous wet kisses there. i told Her how nice they felt, being wet, being wet perhaps for someone else?  Miss murmured.  i think She approved.  When She began stroking Her own sex over the delicate black lace and urging me to cum 'cum right here sissy' i had no chance of holding back and my pitiful sissy squirts fell onto Her panties. 

 

'i think i should clean that up Miss' i asked, more in hope than anything else.  'You should get the practice in sissy'.  Miss replied.  Oh wow!!  We both knew the connotations of that.  Was that deliberate?  A hint of things to come?  Let's not ponder on that too long for now and just enjoy, what i enjoyed, lovingly licking up, tasting and consuming my sissy cream freshly decorating the panties of the Woman i love so much.  Of course i imagined it to be from someone else, of course i imagined Miss making me do my duty, to please both Her and Her lover but most of all and beyond my sissy imaginations.... i felt such love for Her. x

 

p.s Miss asked me if that was the first time i have ever done that and it was, i liked the taste too! 'Does it all taste the same Miss?'  'Just like pussy juice sissy, no, not all the same'.  'Your pussy juice is the sweetest ever Miss - the best ever'.  It's the only pussy juice i ever want to taste. x

A Month Of Downs And Ups

 

 

A whole month....that's how long since i've posted something here.  That's not like me at all and of course there's a reason.  Stress. Emotional turmoil. Sadness.  Four weeks of quite horrible feelings.  When you are sissy and the femininity within you is not happy then it's impossible to be able to write a blog.  Miss must have noticed...and i am sure you all have too...the lack of blogs from me.

 

Before Christmas Miss gave me an implicit instruction, an order. 'You need to find yourself a new Mistress sissy'.  She meant it.  What i failed to interpret was that She also meant that if i did that then it would be over between us.  i did exactly what She said and 'found' a new Mistress.  We have had a meeting, overnight, where i was sexually humiliated.  There really is no need for the details, Miss knows them all anyway.  At that time i genuinely felt that Miss had given up on me and had had enough of my girlish sissiness. Was She really sending me a message that She wanted me to stop being a sissy? Was She hoping that She could 'get it out of my system'? i just don't know.  The truth is however that i am a sissy and i simply can't be anything else emotionally or sexually.  To not be true to yourself is not me being me.  In the days after my meeting with 'The Mistress' Miss and i sank to an all time low.  It certainly looked over.

 

Confusingly though, Miss and i had three wonderful lovemaking sessions during which She dressed erotically and, just like before, verbally and mentally humiliated me to orgasm.  In one of those sessions Miss again fucked my sissy pussy with a black dildo after having made me wear my butt plug.  The sex was wonderful but my mind and feelings were doing cartwheels of confusion.  She wanted to end it right?  She wanted me gone right? She was possibly going to leave Herself right?  It's all that we seemed to be doing, arguing, getting angry yet.....in all of those days She was still willing to have great sex with me....i could not make any sense of it.  i loved Her but did She love me...i mean really love me? 

 

To me it seemed like Miss had had enough of my femininity.  At Her most upset She would say some truly cutting things.  i think that those things were Her frustrations and of course i was the rightful target.  It is very difficult to look through the eyes of someone else but it should be very easy to do it if the eyes are of the person you love so much and that you know you will never find anyone to love more.  My sissiness is my sexuality.  i do not feel right unless i am wearing women's lingerie. i cannot be anyone other than the sissy i am. 

 

Then the next bombshell.  Miss found my profile on a dating site and it was from that site that the other 'Mistress' made contact with me.  More anger from Miss, more hurt, more arguing, more grief, more feelings pained.  Again, i had failed to understand the true meaning of what Miss said when She told me to find another Mistress.  She meant that if i did then it would be over between us.  Yet.....it seems now that it is not over and does confusion reign once more or has an understanding, an acceptance, finally been reached?  The 'other' Mistress is not who i love.  The 'other' Mistress will go.  The 'other' Mistress is simply a manifestation of the horrible month we had...yet...She is still there...She is still there because i am a sissy and....She is still there because i don't know if the Miss i want to be with forever really wants to be my Miss at all?  i want to lose Her, i want...i need Miss to tell me to lose Her......or has another way just made itself apparent?

 

'How would you feel if I took a lover'?

 

OMG! 

 

Those were the words Miss said to me on Saturday evening.  Words i have longed for....yearned for and hoped to hear Her say - or something similar.  My mind is in a bit of a blur right now and i hope you can understand why but i think i can recall Miss adding to that statement, or was it before the statement....something along the lines of 'since it's quite obvious this is how you are going to be all the time'.  She was referring to how i was dressed but more than that, my sissiness, the fact that i am a sissy and that's how i will always be. 

 

You may already be aware that we have played in the past.  Miss has had arranged one nighters with various Bulls. Some of those experiences have been wonderful for Her and some have been less than wonderful.  i don't think She ever wants those type of flings again.  i think She wants something more permanent, more satisfying, more exciting and more fulfilling  - on a regular basis and totally in Her control. 

 

 So why.....why did She say this and what was She saying it for?

 

1. Miss wants a lover.  Straightforward and simple.  Why?  Isn't that obvious?!  Although i have not asked Her that question.  Do i need to?

 

2. Miss wanted to test the water with my reaction and my reaction/response would help Her make Her own mind up.

 

As soon as She said it i felt my little clit stir and wetness in my panties.  Shocked, stunned, aroused, totally on the back-foot and for a few seconds, unable to speak.  Was this for real?  i think it was.  i probably went off on a total ramble of utter nonsense when i replied but i did my best to try and explain five very important issues for me should Miss 'take a lover'.

 

1. She can't run off with someone - ever-ever...just not ever!  No leaving me for anyone.  If there was even the slightest whiff of that happening then 'the Lover' would be a Man running scared.

 

2. Safety. Security.  Miss does not ever put Herself in any positions or situations where Her personal safety is compromised or at risk.

 

3. Miss must tell me that She is going to do this.  In other words, She's definitely decided to go ahead and 'take a Lover'.

 

4. i want to be included.  By that i mean Her lover or lovers must know about me, about sissy and that i am an important part of the dynamic.

 

5. Miss and i do not stop having a loving sexual relationship.  Granted there will be differences to the physical aspects with me and with a Lover or Lovers but i can never give Her up completely to anyone.

 

i sincerely hope i made those points clear to Miss.  So what happens next??  God knows!  Do i just sit back and let Miss get on with it?  Indeed, how will She get on with it?  Does She want to use the internet, does She want to go out somewhere with friends? Does She want me to come up with the ideas and make it happen for Her?  Or do i come up with the ideas and She uses them to make it happen?  i would willingly do whatever She asks. Amongst my random ramblings in response to Her knockout statement i talked of buying Her a special phone, wanting to help Her prepare for dates with new clothes and lingerie, a willingness to pay for restaurants, hotel rooms, providing lifts and pick ups for Her, anything that makes it seamless and enjoyable for Her. 

 

So many thoughts....so many possibilities.  If such things were predictable, here is how i could imagine one way of Miss 'taking a Lover'.....

 

She has an advert online.  Discreet. No photograph.  She describes Herself as a hot sexy blonde looking for fun with a reliable and trustworthy Man.  She describes Her current relationship as loving and permanent but with a lack of sexual fulfilment.  Something like Ashley Maddison. (a site set up intentionally for people to have safe and mutually satisfying affairs). Miss gets many responses - and She would!  Online messaging to start with and then eventually an exchange of pictures (with Her special phone of course!). An arranged date.  A first meeting.  i take Her and i discretely watch - unbeknown to the Man. Not a kink for me but SECURITY!

 

It may only take one date it may take two or three but eventually Miss will find someone who She thinks ticks all the right boxes for Her.  It is Her boxes that count - not mine.  From that moment on...She has Her lover.

 

If this is what Miss wants  - a lover - or maybe a spare or two as well - then what do i think would be in it for Her?

 

Everything this article describes:

 

http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2015-07-why-having-a-lover-makes-me-a-better-wife/

 

...and....for me?  After all, that is what Miss was asking wasn't it?

 

A love for Her so strong that i'd be bursting with it. i'd feel so much closer to Her.  Competitive.  That's the testosterone - which can't be helped! Happy.  Happy because She would be happy. 

 

Perhaps most importantly for us both - how it would affect us both.  i see an end to all these stupid, relationship threatening arguments, which, all boil down to sex and me being a sissy. 

 

Thank you for reading all of that.  No pictures or erotic details.  They are not necessary.  What was necessary are my thoughts and musings over what has been a very difficult period for us both and the fact that we are still together shows how much we do care about each other. 

 

So is this the start of something? x