Every Morning Is A Girly Morning

i just love waking up dressed as a sissy girl.  Instantly i'm reminded of what i wore as i retired to bed in my chambers.  Each waking moment enhanced by the thrill of the items of feminine clothing i'm wearing.  The gorgeous sensations of gradually waking, knowing that i'm in a pretty bra, my breast forms heaving and pressing deliciously into my bra cups.  Panties too, sometimes a little damp with my girly sissy excitement, if i've had an especially hot dream.  Suspender belt and stockings.  i don't always sleep in stockings but they too provide such swoony sensations of girly bliss as my legs brush together under the bed clothes.  Finally the nightgown.  This particular piece of femininity has the 'honour' of brushing and caressing every other item of clothing i'm wearing underneath it.  So wonderful, so girly, so femme!

 

It's hard to keep my little sissy clit down when i wake.  To start the day knowing that you are dressed as a sissy and feeling the gorgeous clothing makes it quite an effort to stop 'her' from hardening.  It often takes a superhuman job to resist touching my tiny cock as it dampens and pushes out into the pretty panties i'm wearing. 

 

Then there's the girly dressing gown that Miss got for me two Christmases ago. Satin, floral, pink and oh so feminine.  Slipping this over my attire, tying the waist so that my lace clad breasts jut enticingly out and simply swooning in the overload of feminine bliss and heavenly girlishness. 

 

My first duty of the day is to serve Miss her morning tea in Her chambers.  Such a delightful experience.  Daintily alighting the stairs, sashaying my hips, mincing, pressing my breasts forward, my garments whispering and swaying, taking dainty steps.  Giving my curtsey, kissing the hand of Miss, bending gently to place Her tea on Her bedside table.  Hoping Miss might want some pleasures - She usually doesn't.  Then back down the stairs in such feminine delight, once more revelling in the feeling of silks, satin, lace, straps.  Wonderful!

 

This is what i wore most of last evening, through the night and for the early part of this morning.  One of my most favourite 'boudoir' style negligees.

 

 

i just adore the semi sheer material and corseted style bust pattern.  What is not showing is the deliciously seductive front split that is purely designed to arouse and tease.  Something a Real Woman would wear for a Real Man but equally appreciated by a sissy.

 

 

There's the split of the gown, revealing my special embroidered 'sissy cuckold' panties.  Such dainty panties, concealing the most delicate and tiny sissy cock.  i love how the straps of my suspender belt can clearly be seen through the material as well as the tops of my pretty white stockings.  Could anything ever be more girly??

 

 

A naughty 'upshot' of my pretty panties, again showing the hardly noticeable mound of my little clit.

 

Ohhhhh. Full pantied sissy bottom in prissy pink with those oh so delicate ruffles.  Just yearning to be exposed, humiliated and utterly embarrassed.

Who knows what each day will bring but to start it off as a sissy is a good start indeed! x

 

 

 

Games and 'Games'.

An excellent game of Scrabble with Miss last night.  She came very close to another win but thanks to an 81pointer from me with the third last lay of tiles i managed to hold Her off.  It's a great bonding time for us when we play Scrabble and i do enjoy it immensely. 

 

 

 

As the game concluded i cheekily asked Miss if She required me for anything else and was even more cheeky, after hearing Her say 'no', to ask if She might not mind helping me to achieve a sissy cum?  Miss knows that She could simply order me to satisfy myself but it is so much more intimate and meaningful with Her there.  It's all 3 parts of the jigsaw i wrote about in an earlier blog post.  Miss decided that She would retire upstairs, slip into a pretty gown and then 'help me' play.

 

She looked so gorgeous when She came down wearing a dark blue vintage full length Olga gown.  i was also dressed in an Olga, mine being red.  Under that i had on a pretty set of red lace bra and panties with black lace topped hold up stockings.  i love the way my Olgas allow the lace of my bra cups with forms in to thrust forward and display themselves.  It really does make me feel oh so feminine and girly.  As Miss sat down next to me She casually tossed a condom onto my lap 'see if you can get your sissy clit hard enough for that and then cum into it'.

 

When She's good....She's very very good.......

 

 

What followed however was a quite surreal experience where somehow again the subject of the Ashley Maddison site came up.  'Have you found any lovers for me sissy?' asked Miss.  In the context that we were being intimate this sort of comment would, in the past, be part of the mind games and teasing Miss employs to bring me to orgasm.  i feel things are different now and i sensed Miss actually meant it.  Or at least She meant She wanted to know if i thought anybody of the replies i had so far might be of interest to Her - in my opinion. 

 

As i sheathed my tiny cock with the rubber of the condom and with Miss delightfully mocking it's (lack of) size we then had a very interesting conversation about AM and somehow we kept dipping back and forth between how an actual date for Miss might end up playing out.  i was certainly not expecting this and yes, my sissy cock was certainly responding but my mind was trying to work out what it was Miss was working towards.

 

 

 

We talked about a typical first date...a meeting only....very likely to be no sex and then Miss saying 'on a second date there definitely would be sex!'  We talked about me buying new clothes and lingerie for Miss 'I might even let you dress me sissy'.  We talked about transport, 'I can use taxis for that sissy'.  We talked about safety.  'Stop trying to control it all sissy!'.  i hope Miss realises that i'm not.  Miss joked about what if Her lover had a small cock or even wore panties...oh the irony!  This very easy, casual conversation was pinging back and forth between us and i think it helped us imagine what the reality could be like.

 

What i was glad of however was the chance to let Miss know that any date She does choose to go on is not about me...it's all about Her.  i told Her how i would make sure that everything would be taken care of domestically, that She'd have only one thing to think about and that being having a good time, in relaxation and with no worries.  It would be all about Her enjoyment, the excitement, the thrill, the attention She'd get from a Real Man...the wining....the dining, the flirting. 

 

 

 

Miss does seem to think Her enjoying Real Men is weighted towards my excitement and my pleasure.  i can't deny that i will get enjoyment as well but Hers is the main factor and the priority. i assured Her that i would not be demanding to know everything, that i would not be expecting to be there, that i would not be expecting recordings or even to be revealed to a lover as the cuckold sissy in Her life.  All of that would be up to Her to decide if She chose to. 'Well, I might make some secret recordings for you sissy' She said.  A lovely thought but not essential Miss.   

 

 

(An aspiration not an expectation)

 

i am now of the belief that Miss won't actually create 'Her own profile' on AM but instead may be much more favourable to me continuing 'the experiment' and 'looking out' for potential playmates.  i am happy to do that for Her. After all, it can be quite a time consuming activity - and i certainly have the time!  i think Miss is subtly trying to let me know that, for now, this is the way She prefers it to develop. This is still 'the process' stage.

 

So my plan is to keep 'my profile' up there and visit it daily.  i will 'keep' the contacts of Men who are both good looking and articulate and who come across well.  There are a couple of those already.  i'll then find a way to let Miss know that they might be worth Her looking at. 

 

 

 

How do i further encourage Miss from here?  i simply don't.  i can only try to imagine what it is like for Her now.  Perhaps if i were in Her place, i'd try to split this down into two further parts. The first being the experience of the date and the second being the experience of the potential lover on that date.  At this moment in time i think that the actual 'experience' of going on a date and all the things that entails from nerves, to wanting to look good, to feeling good and perhaps many more are what i would be thinking most about.  How would it make me feel??  x

Shifting Sands

 

 

i think that Miss is warming to the idea of undergoing the process of taking a lover.  Now.....that's not necessarily the same thing as actually having a lover and i think it's important to separate the two things.

 

The process to me (and i also think means the same to Miss) is the groundwork beforehand, putting Herself out there as wanting to play, becoming interested, seeing what's available.  From developments over the past few days i believe that Miss wants to begin that process. 

 

Firstly, let's be absolutely certain that me being a sissy is not providing any sort of sexual fulfilment for Miss.  Whilst we are still being intimate and i'm still able to give Miss orgasms and pleasure it is a fact that the sex for Her is lacking.  We both know this. We both accept this.  It does NOT however mean that there is no love between us. 

 

i wrote previously about how i ended my experiment and showed Miss what it was all about.  A follower of mine, Stephanie, who is almost psychic in Her perceptions of reading between the lines, made a very accurate remark about what me showing Miss would mean to Miss.  So it was then that on Saturday afternoon Miss again brought up the subject of the Ashley Maddison site which to me looks like the very best site to use for 'the process'.  Miss asked me to show Her the profile i created and wanted to know more about how it worked.   It's quite an odd feeling showing the person you love a site which could eventually be Her path into finding excitement, flirtatious fun and potential sexual fulfilment.

 

As i have learned, it is not good policy to push Miss or to try and force the pace.  i took a very laid back approach as i showed Her how the site worked and the different types of responses, pictures, comments that 'my profile' had received.  About an hour after i had finished this with Miss She simply came out with the statement 'have you set up my profile on Ashley Maddison yet sissy'?  An absolute bolt from the blue and it rendered me utterly speechless.  i simply failed to reply.

 

Miss also started mentioning things about 'not really wanting to have another phone, i could use my work one perhaps with a separate number'....and 'i'll need to have a picture up, blurred out would be best'.  Again i was lost for words......have i missed the moment, failed to seize the moment??  What do i do now??  Is Miss just waiting for me to set it up for Her or is She going to get on with it Herself?  i really don't know what to do next. 

 

Bear in mind that Miss was not saying these things whilst we were being sexually intimate.  She was openly letting me hear Her thoughts and how She Herself could see things happening for that 'process'.  Of course i would gladly set something up for Her if She asked.  We would have to talk about it and then do it together - if that's what She wants?  So even before 'the process' begins i think we will both need to work together.

 

 

 

i've decided therefore to do nothing until Miss decides She's ready.  It's the best thing and the right thing to do.  They say butterflies in the stomach....?  i say there's a whole Amazonian Forest of them in my stomach right now! x

Experiment Over

 

 

i promised Miss that i would end my 'experiment' earlier than planned and then tell Her what it was - that's exactly what i did last night.

 

First though some lovely sex with Miss on Valentines Day afternoon.  i say 'lovely sex' when in actuality it was probably not that good for Miss.  Yes, She came but i don't think She was too pleased that my tiny cock was not going to get even remotely hard unless there was some element of 'sissiness' involved in the lovemaking.  i really hope Miss knows by now that it is not Her not turning me on rather that it is the concept of making love to Her as a Real Man would which results in me not being aroused.  It's very complex and must seem odd and weird to Miss - i understand that.  Since i am not a Real Man sexually then i can't perform like one.  Miss absolutely does turn me on but like a jigsaw, my arousal needs all the pieces in place.  It's a small jigsaw of 3 pieces. 1. Miss. 2. Being a sissy. 3. Miss re-enforcing my effeminate sissiness.

 

It was wonderful to be allowed inside Her, after just over a month, and i lovingly enjoyed it when Miss belittled my tiny cock.  She also gave me some delightful oral attention.  Actually twice!  Firstly before any mention of sissy - which although felt good was not going to make me hard for Her but once Miss had told me how pathetic my cock was and how small it is there was a substantial difference.  Actually, 'substantial' is not exactly the right word to use! 

 

So....the experiment.  Two weeks ago i joined AshleyMaddison as a pretend female with a profile placing me as local, attached and with an unsatisfactory sex life.  i detailed that i was not looking to leave the relationship i was in and that i had a busy working life.  i provided no pictures.  The response?  Plenty.  Many men, mostly in similar positions got in contact.  Some provided pictures, clear faces, blurry faces, even their cocks!  Some of them wrote very nice messages, well-worded, not pushy and quite open and honest about their own 'situation'.  Some messages were quite the opposite.  i simply let this happen for two weeks....and then Miss demanded that i show Her and tell Her why i did it.

 

i let Miss know that it was simply an experiment to see 'what was out there', how that site worked, the type of men on it and how the 'system worked'.  That's actually the truth!  It was not me creating a profile for Miss behind Her back or me trying to force Miss into something.  So what did i get from it  - that was Miss asking!  Enlightenment.  Some amusement.  Some entertainment.  What did Miss think of it?  i'm not sure.  She did ask if any men had sent 'cock' pictures - which i found both interesting and amusing!

 

What will Miss do now?  Again, i'm not sure.  She told me She did not know what the AshleyMaddison site was about or that it existed.  Really?? x

No Need For You sissy

 

Physically being a sissy is one thing but emotionally being a sissy is something else.  Whilst it is obvious to say that i will never be 100% female there are certainly some parts of those special feminine gifts that i do posses and one of them is 'female intuition'. 

 

This morning, as usual (the honour it is) i brought Miss Her cup of tea in Her chambers.  There was something about the way in which She woke and stirred that hinted to me that She was feeling 'in the mood'.  i performed my customary curtsey and then another one as i left.  In my mind was the question 'will Miss be wanting me for anything before She goes to work'?  That call never came but my intuition just knew that Miss had already or was going to play with Herself.

 

On my morning walk, with Miss still relaxing ( a late start for Her today), She sent me a nice text wishing me a good walk especially as the weather was foul.  i replied my thanks and 'hope you have a nice play Miss'.  A bit cheeky i know.  Miss responded that 'I already have'.  i told Her my 'feminine intuition' had informed me and asked what She had thought about whilst She played.  i did not get a reply to that one! 

 

 

 

Miss had not left for work when i returned and  i could see the glow on Her that told me She had a wonderful orgasm.  i did ask meekly why She did not want me to 'assist' as i was quite surprised She actually played whilst i was in the house at the same time.  i suspect this was not the first time.  Miss was quite dismissive and rightly so....in fact She did not need to tell me as such but why would She involve me?? It would have been nice to know though what it was that got Her in the mood?  Something or someone from Her late meeting last night perhaps?  Miss just has to say....i would not be upset...i'd be pleased! 

 

As She left for work, i did notice some differences in Miss.  Firstly Her heels.  Much higher than usual.  She was pretty much equal height to me in them and i can't recall seeing Her in these heels before - for work anyway.  A bit more make-up than usual as well.  Is Miss dressing to impress??  i remarked about the heels and quipped 'it will be straps next Miss (a reference to wearing stockings and suspenders).  No reply from Her to that one.

 

i do hope She would tell me if She was 'dressing to impress'.  She has nothing to fear. i would not be angry.  i'm sure She knows that. Anyway, She looked gorgeous and if it is for someone else then that's wonderful Miss. x

Visible Bra

 

(My gorgeously girly Camille pink bra)

 

i think most sissies love being risky, love doing things that have a high chance of them being exposed or discovered as sissies.  Whether it be wearing something, saying something or doing something, there's a wonderful amount of erotic excitement and arousal to be had from making it subtly known to other people that 'i am a sissy'.  Interestingly Miss mentioned something like this the other night.  She mentioned that perhaps it's time that other people get to know that i am a sissy.  She's not mentioned it again since then or how that could happen and i'm not entirely sure what She wants to achieve with this but it does sound quite exciting. 

 

Anyway....i do love wearing certain types of 'man clothes' that make it quite obvious that i am also wearing something very pretty and girly underneath. The classic thin white t-shirt takes some beating in this respect when a sissy such as me wishes to show those gorgeous outlines of bra cup lace, bra straps and bra bands.  Panties, stockings etc can be well hidden underneath jeans but a bra....for a sissy....is just demanding to be exposed...to let the viewer know that the wearer is without doubt a femmy sissy.  The t-shirt in these pictures (very patriotic!) is very thin and although the flag pattern does some sort of job of concealing most of the bra, there are some wonderful hints of what's underneath. 

 

 

(Visible delicate bra strap leading down to the gorgeous lace of the cup)

 

Miss noticed this yesterday, commenting that my bra was very obvious and easily noticeable.  Just how i like it Miss was my reply.  i added that i'd love to get more white tops of a thin material which will clearly show my bras through them.  i don't think Miss was particularly impressed with my enthusiasm!

 

The pictures don't really do justice to the visibility of my pretty pink bra but in real life it is, as Miss pointed out, very noticeable.  This of course makes me feel even more girly and femme and of course aroused. 

 

 

(The rear band and fastening of my pretty bra so very obvious)

 

With the warmer months not too far away now it might be time to get those thinner material t-shirts ordered - white of course.  i really should get out more and show my true sissy colours - don't you think? Perhaps Miss might 'encourage' me? x

 

 

 

Being Used By Miss

Her pleasure first.  Her satisfaction first.  Her orgasms first.  First is where i put Miss....always.  Yesterday i was feeling very hot for Miss and sent a cheeky, optimistic text message to Her in the hope that i might be allowed to provide Her with some sexual satisfaction later that evening.  i so wanted to be able to do something for Her...to try and provide Her with an orgasm.  As every sissy knows our cock clits are not our primary weapon.  Instead we rely mainly on our lips, mouths and fingers to pleasure our superior Females.  It was this offer that i made to Miss hoping too that She might also allow me to show my appreciation for Her by cumming my sissy squirts onto Her panties.  She did grant me this but not in the way i had asked.

 

i also, rather rudely, asked in my text if Miss might consider allowing me insider Her?  This has not happened now for nearly two weeks and i am beginning to believe that Miss is now considering it not likely for quite some time and perhaps not ever again.  Some pillow talk during the night before we brought this subject up and i am beginning to understand that my little cock, seen by me as my sissy clit, is now something that Miss does not find sexually arousing or satisfying for the very reason that i do not consider it a masculine thing.  That makes sense to me.  If i don't see it then how can She and why would it or how could it provide Her with sexual satisfaction?

 

To hear Miss say these things to me is both incredibly painful but also incredibly arousing - both at the same time.  The fact that these words are spoken whilst we are in bed together, cuddling, being close and not arguing, merely speaking matter-of factly, gives them even greater meaning.  i asked a very dangerous question that night as well when Miss described that only a Real Man can provide a 'cock' as She considers them to be.  After She had said that i asked 'is that inevitable'?  Silence.....i asked again...continued silence.  Naturally a hardening of my own little clit but also a bit of panic and fear.  'So it's quite possible then Miss that my clit may never again be inside you'?  'Quite probable' was Her reply. 

 

So that is why, quite probably why, that last night there was no chance at all that Miss was going to allow me inside Her.  Why would a gorgeous hot Woman allow something inside Her that does not arouse Her?  No need to answer that!  Again....more arousal for me coupled with angst and worry.

 

i was dressed in a pretty red full length Olga gown, with red lace bra, breast forms, red lace panties and white lace topped hold up stockings. i felt especially feminine and girly, the weight of my forms pulling on my bra straps, my little clit dampening the front of my panties. Whilst we were on the sofa, Miss announced that i was to join Her in Her chambers in five minutes.  Was She going to allow me to cum?  Would i get to soil Her panties and clean them up?  It's not about you sissy - my conscience kept reminding me!

 

 

Her pleasure remained paramount and seeing Her next to me in Her bed in Her chambers, dressed in a beautiful pink Olga with stunning red panties i just hoped that the oral skills all good sissies aspire to have would be enough for Her.  With fingers first and kisses i expressed my love for Her.  During intimate moments i kiss Her with more passion that my usual kisses of the day.  Miss had already told me by now that i was going to make Her cum (or at least try) and then leave Her to go to my own chambers where i was to play with myself into a condom.  She could not have made it any clearer.

 

Worshipping Her petals with my fingers, lips and tongue is such an honour.  She tastes truly heavenly with a quite delightful aroma.  With Her panties pulled aside i lovingly kissed, licked and caressed Her pussy but Miss wanted Her panties off and out of the way.  That's not something we normally do but Miss should get what Miss wants and once they were off She definitely became more comfortable and as my ministrations continued Her hard cum came beautifully to Her.  i so love it when Miss cums on my face.  i can feel every spasm, every shake, every pulse and twitch of Her beauty in those moments.

 

 

(Nothing to see here - literally!)

 

 

(Her arse looks way better than mine in these panties)

 

True to Her word, Miss had no need for me and was not going to be providing anything for my release....other than....handing me Her gorgeous panties and telling me to go and play with myself with them on and to have them hand washed and dried before giving them back.  Wonderful!!  i daintily stepped into them and left Her to Her rest and sleep.  i imagined Miss had given me them having come home from a date with a potential lover.  There had been no sex on this first date but Miss had definitely been aroused in His company.  My little clit throbbed and twitched inside them before dribbling out my sissy cum.  Thank you Miss.  x

 

 

(sissy dribbles)

 

 

p.s Miss asked me a few days ago what this 'experiment' i am conducting was all about and She was quite forceful in wanting answers.  i felt so pained because i want Her to allow me to let it run its course and then tell Her what i have done.  i assured Her again that there is nothing in it for Her to be worried about, there really isn't but imagining me in Her place i could understand why She was agitated.  As a gesture of trust and thanks i'm going to shorten it from end of February to Feb 15th.