A Thing For Tights...

....or Pantyhose as they are called over the pond.  Actually, i quite like that term for them - 'pantyhose' - might be because it contains the word 'panty'??

 

 

(full sheer to waist tights, gorgeous vintage style red lace panties and my little clit encased behind it all)

 

Up until recently i've not considered tights to be sexy - not in the slightest.  All of that has changed.  Ok, they are still not as sexy as stockings and suspenders but i am going to have to admit, tights CAN be sexy.  Day to day at work Miss is a wearer of tights.  She used to wear stockings and suspenders on Fridays in what was known as 'stockings Fridays' but this has long since gone by the wayside.  Despite that i still do find Her considerably sexy in tights, especially if the panties She is wearing underneath them are lacy.  i have a particular fantasy of Miss coming home from work one day with evidence of some hot passionate lovemaking clearly visible on Her tights, especially over the front or back of them at the panty area.  Hmmmmm. 

 

(my favourite view of tights - i think they enhance my sissy tushy quite nicely!)

 

It seemed logical to me then to try them for myself.  To see if i could enjoy wearing them and to see if they aroused me and if they could have the effect of making me still feel like a sissy.  The result?  They do!  My first pair actually came from Miss a few weeks ago.  i had mentioned to Her that i was thinking of trying on a pair and within minutes She had found me a pair of Her own, a pair of natural coloured tights, and handed them to me - wow!  Needless to say, I wore them that day over a pair of pretty white lace panties and the arousal was wonderful - made even more so by the fact that they had, at some time, been worn by Miss.  It goes without saying that i enjoyed them to the full by creaming into them with my sissy squirts.

 

So now I have added to that pair with three more of my own.  An online order from StockingsHQ which arrived yesterday.  1x Black, 1x Barely Black and 1x Natural.  i'm discovering the massive differences between wearing them and wearing stockings with suspenders or hold ups.  They take more time to put on, they feel much warmer, they are an absolute pain when going to the toilet!  However, i love how they feel on my legs and most of all on my tiny sissy clit if i pull it out from my panties and allow it to be caressed by the nylon.  Tights allow me to caress and stroke my clit through the material which provides an amazing sensation and then of course there is the climax of my weak sissy squirts pumping out into the nylon.  Such a naughty girl!

 

The wonderful internet has quite a lot of hot porn clips which feature Real Men cumming hard and spraying their love over Women wearing tights.  i find there is something really hot about watching their cum splash out in pulses, landing all over the tights the Women are wearing - a favourite is when they cum on Her from behind, Her panties showing through the tights. 

 

For me they are not going to replace stockings and suspenders as the most sexiest thing a Woman or sissy can wear but i am so pleased that i have 'discovered' them.  x

The Erotic Pleasure Of sissy Humiliation And Embarrassment

3 weeks??!!  Really?  3 weeks!  That's how long it is since i have posted anything to my blog.  Some might think that i may have stopped being a sissy?  Oh no - no way- never!  Once a sissy....always a sissy.  But 3 weeks!  Very naughty of me and i apologise.  It's not as if i have not had anything worth blogging with but somehow time got the better of me and the blog lapsed into a state of suspension.  A poor excuse.

 

 

The title of this blog should be something many sissies can appreciate.  It's about how we just love being humiliated and embarrassed, either by our superior Females or by things we do ourselves.  Before i carry on however, there is one very important point to make on this subject and that is that whatever the scenario or situation there is nothing clever or even remotely erotic about deliberately forcing yourself on other people in order to arouse yourself.  Miss and i had a brief talk about this the other day when She asked what i did when at a public toilet and using the urinals.  The question was very pertinent since i will always be wearing something feminine and girly under outer male clothing.  'Do people see your panties and stockings'? She asked.  i explained how i don't make a fuss and how i don't try to draw attention to myself in those situations.  i simply unzip, remove my tiny clit and do the necessary.  If anyone notices any of my pretties then they notice - i don't force them to notice by doing something outrageous like dropping my jeans to the floor! 

 

 

 

So back to the title of the blog.  A creative thinking Superior Female can certainly put Her sissy in many situations which will provide degrees of humiliation and embarrassment for 'her'.  Miss has done this in the past with direct cuckolding either making me watch or forcing me to listen to Her on the phone.  There's also shopping trips.  Making your sissy buy something for themselves with clear instructions to engage with shop assistants.  There are also possibilities that could be explored with Her trusted friends.  Imagine being told one day that your 'little secret' has been shared - and imagine not knowing who with? 

 

 

Another effective method used by Superior Females it to publically address you as 'sissy'.  This could be on a night out, at a restaurant. anywhere is possible.  It does not have to be forced - just casually used in an everyday conversational style.  Timed to perfection it can be beautifully effective. 

 

As sissies, we are also quite capable of humiliating and embarrassing ourselves.  The simple ways are often the most effective.  Having subtle hints of bra straps showing under tops, having panties peeking out from jeans or trousers.  Even braver sissies have answered their doors to deliveries in nightgowns or bare topped with the clear markings of a bra having been worn.  Again, the key to doing this right and without causing a disturbance is not to force it - rather behave absolutely naturally - which, after all, as a sissy, is what we should be doing anyway. 

 

 

All of this and the many more ways the erotic effects of humiliation and embarrassment can be achieved require a 'confirmation effect'. This effect is best realised with Women. These range from knowing smiles, giggles, stifled laughter, open laughter and even direct questioning.  i know exactly what it is like to experience that moment when my bra has been noticed under a top or my panties have been seen when i'm bending down to a low shelf in a shop.  i've heard the giggles and the laughter.  i've seen the knowing smiles.

 

 

Keep it safe, keep it under control, keep it subtle, keep it 'natural'.  There is so much fun to be had being a sissy in humiliating and embarrassing situations. x

 

 

Every Morning Is A Girly Morning

i just love waking up dressed as a sissy girl.  Instantly i'm reminded of what i wore as i retired to bed in my chambers.  Each waking moment enhanced by the thrill of the items of feminine clothing i'm wearing.  The gorgeous sensations of gradually waking, knowing that i'm in a pretty bra, my breast forms heaving and pressing deliciously into my bra cups.  Panties too, sometimes a little damp with my girly sissy excitement, if i've had an especially hot dream.  Suspender belt and stockings.  i don't always sleep in stockings but they too provide such swoony sensations of girly bliss as my legs brush together under the bed clothes.  Finally the nightgown.  This particular piece of femininity has the 'honour' of brushing and caressing every other item of clothing i'm wearing underneath it.  So wonderful, so girly, so femme!

 

It's hard to keep my little sissy clit down when i wake.  To start the day knowing that you are dressed as a sissy and feeling the gorgeous clothing makes it quite an effort to stop 'her' from hardening.  It often takes a superhuman job to resist touching my tiny cock as it dampens and pushes out into the pretty panties i'm wearing. 

 

Then there's the girly dressing gown that Miss got for me two Christmases ago. Satin, floral, pink and oh so feminine.  Slipping this over my attire, tying the waist so that my lace clad breasts jut enticingly out and simply swooning in the overload of feminine bliss and heavenly girlishness. 

 

My first duty of the day is to serve Miss her morning tea in Her chambers.  Such a delightful experience.  Daintily alighting the stairs, sashaying my hips, mincing, pressing my breasts forward, my garments whispering and swaying, taking dainty steps.  Giving my curtsey, kissing the hand of Miss, bending gently to place Her tea on Her bedside table.  Hoping Miss might want some pleasures - She usually doesn't.  Then back down the stairs in such feminine delight, once more revelling in the feeling of silks, satin, lace, straps.  Wonderful!

 

This is what i wore most of last evening, through the night and for the early part of this morning.  One of my most favourite 'boudoir' style negligees.

 

 

i just adore the semi sheer material and corseted style bust pattern.  What is not showing is the deliciously seductive front split that is purely designed to arouse and tease.  Something a Real Woman would wear for a Real Man but equally appreciated by a sissy.

 

 

There's the split of the gown, revealing my special embroidered 'sissy cuckold' panties.  Such dainty panties, concealing the most delicate and tiny sissy cock.  i love how the straps of my suspender belt can clearly be seen through the material as well as the tops of my pretty white stockings.  Could anything ever be more girly??

 

 

A naughty 'upshot' of my pretty panties, again showing the hardly noticeable mound of my little clit.

 

Ohhhhh. Full pantied sissy bottom in prissy pink with those oh so delicate ruffles.  Just yearning to be exposed, humiliated and utterly embarrassed.

Who knows what each day will bring but to start it off as a sissy is a good start indeed! x

 

 

 

Games and 'Games'.

An excellent game of Scrabble with Miss last night.  She came very close to another win but thanks to an 81pointer from me with the third last lay of tiles i managed to hold Her off.  It's a great bonding time for us when we play Scrabble and i do enjoy it immensely. 

 

 

 

As the game concluded i cheekily asked Miss if She required me for anything else and was even more cheeky, after hearing Her say 'no', to ask if She might not mind helping me to achieve a sissy cum?  Miss knows that She could simply order me to satisfy myself but it is so much more intimate and meaningful with Her there.  It's all 3 parts of the jigsaw i wrote about in an earlier blog post.  Miss decided that She would retire upstairs, slip into a pretty gown and then 'help me' play.

 

She looked so gorgeous when She came down wearing a dark blue vintage full length Olga gown.  i was also dressed in an Olga, mine being red.  Under that i had on a pretty set of red lace bra and panties with black lace topped hold up stockings.  i love the way my Olgas allow the lace of my bra cups with forms in to thrust forward and display themselves.  It really does make me feel oh so feminine and girly.  As Miss sat down next to me She casually tossed a condom onto my lap 'see if you can get your sissy clit hard enough for that and then cum into it'.

 

When She's good....She's very very good.......

 

 

What followed however was a quite surreal experience where somehow again the subject of the Ashley Maddison site came up.  'Have you found any lovers for me sissy?' asked Miss.  In the context that we were being intimate this sort of comment would, in the past, be part of the mind games and teasing Miss employs to bring me to orgasm.  i feel things are different now and i sensed Miss actually meant it.  Or at least She meant She wanted to know if i thought anybody of the replies i had so far might be of interest to Her - in my opinion. 

 

As i sheathed my tiny cock with the rubber of the condom and with Miss delightfully mocking it's (lack of) size we then had a very interesting conversation about AM and somehow we kept dipping back and forth between how an actual date for Miss might end up playing out.  i was certainly not expecting this and yes, my sissy cock was certainly responding but my mind was trying to work out what it was Miss was working towards.

 

 

 

We talked about a typical first date...a meeting only....very likely to be no sex and then Miss saying 'on a second date there definitely would be sex!'  We talked about me buying new clothes and lingerie for Miss 'I might even let you dress me sissy'.  We talked about transport, 'I can use taxis for that sissy'.  We talked about safety.  'Stop trying to control it all sissy!'.  i hope Miss realises that i'm not.  Miss joked about what if Her lover had a small cock or even wore panties...oh the irony!  This very easy, casual conversation was pinging back and forth between us and i think it helped us imagine what the reality could be like.

 

What i was glad of however was the chance to let Miss know that any date She does choose to go on is not about me...it's all about Her.  i told Her how i would make sure that everything would be taken care of domestically, that She'd have only one thing to think about and that being having a good time, in relaxation and with no worries.  It would be all about Her enjoyment, the excitement, the thrill, the attention She'd get from a Real Man...the wining....the dining, the flirting. 

 

 

 

Miss does seem to think Her enjoying Real Men is weighted towards my excitement and my pleasure.  i can't deny that i will get enjoyment as well but Hers is the main factor and the priority. i assured Her that i would not be demanding to know everything, that i would not be expecting to be there, that i would not be expecting recordings or even to be revealed to a lover as the cuckold sissy in Her life.  All of that would be up to Her to decide if She chose to. 'Well, I might make some secret recordings for you sissy' She said.  A lovely thought but not essential Miss.   

 

 

(An aspiration not an expectation)

 

i am now of the belief that Miss won't actually create 'Her own profile' on AM but instead may be much more favourable to me continuing 'the experiment' and 'looking out' for potential playmates.  i am happy to do that for Her. After all, it can be quite a time consuming activity - and i certainly have the time!  i think Miss is subtly trying to let me know that, for now, this is the way She prefers it to develop. This is still 'the process' stage.

 

So my plan is to keep 'my profile' up there and visit it daily.  i will 'keep' the contacts of Men who are both good looking and articulate and who come across well.  There are a couple of those already.  i'll then find a way to let Miss know that they might be worth Her looking at. 

 

 

 

How do i further encourage Miss from here?  i simply don't.  i can only try to imagine what it is like for Her now.  Perhaps if i were in Her place, i'd try to split this down into two further parts. The first being the experience of the date and the second being the experience of the potential lover on that date.  At this moment in time i think that the actual 'experience' of going on a date and all the things that entails from nerves, to wanting to look good, to feeling good and perhaps many more are what i would be thinking most about.  How would it make me feel??  x

Shifting Sands

 

 

i think that Miss is warming to the idea of undergoing the process of taking a lover.  Now.....that's not necessarily the same thing as actually having a lover and i think it's important to separate the two things.

 

The process to me (and i also think means the same to Miss) is the groundwork beforehand, putting Herself out there as wanting to play, becoming interested, seeing what's available.  From developments over the past few days i believe that Miss wants to begin that process. 

 

Firstly, let's be absolutely certain that me being a sissy is not providing any sort of sexual fulfilment for Miss.  Whilst we are still being intimate and i'm still able to give Miss orgasms and pleasure it is a fact that the sex for Her is lacking.  We both know this. We both accept this.  It does NOT however mean that there is no love between us. 

 

i wrote previously about how i ended my experiment and showed Miss what it was all about.  A follower of mine, Stephanie, who is almost psychic in Her perceptions of reading between the lines, made a very accurate remark about what me showing Miss would mean to Miss.  So it was then that on Saturday afternoon Miss again brought up the subject of the Ashley Maddison site which to me looks like the very best site to use for 'the process'.  Miss asked me to show Her the profile i created and wanted to know more about how it worked.   It's quite an odd feeling showing the person you love a site which could eventually be Her path into finding excitement, flirtatious fun and potential sexual fulfilment.

 

As i have learned, it is not good policy to push Miss or to try and force the pace.  i took a very laid back approach as i showed Her how the site worked and the different types of responses, pictures, comments that 'my profile' had received.  About an hour after i had finished this with Miss She simply came out with the statement 'have you set up my profile on Ashley Maddison yet sissy'?  An absolute bolt from the blue and it rendered me utterly speechless.  i simply failed to reply.

 

Miss also started mentioning things about 'not really wanting to have another phone, i could use my work one perhaps with a separate number'....and 'i'll need to have a picture up, blurred out would be best'.  Again i was lost for words......have i missed the moment, failed to seize the moment??  What do i do now??  Is Miss just waiting for me to set it up for Her or is She going to get on with it Herself?  i really don't know what to do next. 

 

Bear in mind that Miss was not saying these things whilst we were being sexually intimate.  She was openly letting me hear Her thoughts and how She Herself could see things happening for that 'process'.  Of course i would gladly set something up for Her if She asked.  We would have to talk about it and then do it together - if that's what She wants?  So even before 'the process' begins i think we will both need to work together.

 

 

 

i've decided therefore to do nothing until Miss decides She's ready.  It's the best thing and the right thing to do.  They say butterflies in the stomach....?  i say there's a whole Amazonian Forest of them in my stomach right now! x

Experiment Over

 

 

i promised Miss that i would end my 'experiment' earlier than planned and then tell Her what it was - that's exactly what i did last night.

 

First though some lovely sex with Miss on Valentines Day afternoon.  i say 'lovely sex' when in actuality it was probably not that good for Miss.  Yes, She came but i don't think She was too pleased that my tiny cock was not going to get even remotely hard unless there was some element of 'sissiness' involved in the lovemaking.  i really hope Miss knows by now that it is not Her not turning me on rather that it is the concept of making love to Her as a Real Man would which results in me not being aroused.  It's very complex and must seem odd and weird to Miss - i understand that.  Since i am not a Real Man sexually then i can't perform like one.  Miss absolutely does turn me on but like a jigsaw, my arousal needs all the pieces in place.  It's a small jigsaw of 3 pieces. 1. Miss. 2. Being a sissy. 3. Miss re-enforcing my effeminate sissiness.

 

It was wonderful to be allowed inside Her, after just over a month, and i lovingly enjoyed it when Miss belittled my tiny cock.  She also gave me some delightful oral attention.  Actually twice!  Firstly before any mention of sissy - which although felt good was not going to make me hard for Her but once Miss had told me how pathetic my cock was and how small it is there was a substantial difference.  Actually, 'substantial' is not exactly the right word to use! 

 

So....the experiment.  Two weeks ago i joined AshleyMaddison as a pretend female with a profile placing me as local, attached and with an unsatisfactory sex life.  i detailed that i was not looking to leave the relationship i was in and that i had a busy working life.  i provided no pictures.  The response?  Plenty.  Many men, mostly in similar positions got in contact.  Some provided pictures, clear faces, blurry faces, even their cocks!  Some of them wrote very nice messages, well-worded, not pushy and quite open and honest about their own 'situation'.  Some messages were quite the opposite.  i simply let this happen for two weeks....and then Miss demanded that i show Her and tell Her why i did it.

 

i let Miss know that it was simply an experiment to see 'what was out there', how that site worked, the type of men on it and how the 'system worked'.  That's actually the truth!  It was not me creating a profile for Miss behind Her back or me trying to force Miss into something.  So what did i get from it  - that was Miss asking!  Enlightenment.  Some amusement.  Some entertainment.  What did Miss think of it?  i'm not sure.  She did ask if any men had sent 'cock' pictures - which i found both interesting and amusing!

 

What will Miss do now?  Again, i'm not sure.  She told me She did not know what the AshleyMaddison site was about or that it existed.  Really?? x

No Need For You sissy

 

Physically being a sissy is one thing but emotionally being a sissy is something else.  Whilst it is obvious to say that i will never be 100% female there are certainly some parts of those special feminine gifts that i do posses and one of them is 'female intuition'. 

 

This morning, as usual (the honour it is) i brought Miss Her cup of tea in Her chambers.  There was something about the way in which She woke and stirred that hinted to me that She was feeling 'in the mood'.  i performed my customary curtsey and then another one as i left.  In my mind was the question 'will Miss be wanting me for anything before She goes to work'?  That call never came but my intuition just knew that Miss had already or was going to play with Herself.

 

On my morning walk, with Miss still relaxing ( a late start for Her today), She sent me a nice text wishing me a good walk especially as the weather was foul.  i replied my thanks and 'hope you have a nice play Miss'.  A bit cheeky i know.  Miss responded that 'I already have'.  i told Her my 'feminine intuition' had informed me and asked what She had thought about whilst She played.  i did not get a reply to that one! 

 

 

 

Miss had not left for work when i returned and  i could see the glow on Her that told me She had a wonderful orgasm.  i did ask meekly why She did not want me to 'assist' as i was quite surprised She actually played whilst i was in the house at the same time.  i suspect this was not the first time.  Miss was quite dismissive and rightly so....in fact She did not need to tell me as such but why would She involve me?? It would have been nice to know though what it was that got Her in the mood?  Something or someone from Her late meeting last night perhaps?  Miss just has to say....i would not be upset...i'd be pleased! 

 

As She left for work, i did notice some differences in Miss.  Firstly Her heels.  Much higher than usual.  She was pretty much equal height to me in them and i can't recall seeing Her in these heels before - for work anyway.  A bit more make-up than usual as well.  Is Miss dressing to impress??  i remarked about the heels and quipped 'it will be straps next Miss (a reference to wearing stockings and suspenders).  No reply from Her to that one.

 

i do hope She would tell me if She was 'dressing to impress'.  She has nothing to fear. i would not be angry.  i'm sure She knows that. Anyway, She looked gorgeous and if it is for someone else then that's wonderful Miss. x

Visible Bra

 

(My gorgeously girly Camille pink bra)

 

i think most sissies love being risky, love doing things that have a high chance of them being exposed or discovered as sissies.  Whether it be wearing something, saying something or doing something, there's a wonderful amount of erotic excitement and arousal to be had from making it subtly known to other people that 'i am a sissy'.  Interestingly Miss mentioned something like this the other night.  She mentioned that perhaps it's time that other people get to know that i am a sissy.  She's not mentioned it again since then or how that could happen and i'm not entirely sure what She wants to achieve with this but it does sound quite exciting. 

 

Anyway....i do love wearing certain types of 'man clothes' that make it quite obvious that i am also wearing something very pretty and girly underneath. The classic thin white t-shirt takes some beating in this respect when a sissy such as me wishes to show those gorgeous outlines of bra cup lace, bra straps and bra bands.  Panties, stockings etc can be well hidden underneath jeans but a bra....for a sissy....is just demanding to be exposed...to let the viewer know that the wearer is without doubt a femmy sissy.  The t-shirt in these pictures (very patriotic!) is very thin and although the flag pattern does some sort of job of concealing most of the bra, there are some wonderful hints of what's underneath. 

 

 

(Visible delicate bra strap leading down to the gorgeous lace of the cup)

 

Miss noticed this yesterday, commenting that my bra was very obvious and easily noticeable.  Just how i like it Miss was my reply.  i added that i'd love to get more white tops of a thin material which will clearly show my bras through them.  i don't think Miss was particularly impressed with my enthusiasm!

 

The pictures don't really do justice to the visibility of my pretty pink bra but in real life it is, as Miss pointed out, very noticeable.  This of course makes me feel even more girly and femme and of course aroused. 

 

 

(The rear band and fastening of my pretty bra so very obvious)

 

With the warmer months not too far away now it might be time to get those thinner material t-shirts ordered - white of course.  i really should get out more and show my true sissy colours - don't you think? Perhaps Miss might 'encourage' me? x

 

 

 

Being Used By Miss

Her pleasure first.  Her satisfaction first.  Her orgasms first.  First is where i put Miss....always.  Yesterday i was feeling very hot for Miss and sent a cheeky, optimistic text message to Her in the hope that i might be allowed to provide Her with some sexual satisfaction later that evening.  i so wanted to be able to do something for Her...to try and provide Her with an orgasm.  As every sissy knows our cock clits are not our primary weapon.  Instead we rely mainly on our lips, mouths and fingers to pleasure our superior Females.  It was this offer that i made to Miss hoping too that She might also allow me to show my appreciation for Her by cumming my sissy squirts onto Her panties.  She did grant me this but not in the way i had asked.

 

i also, rather rudely, asked in my text if Miss might consider allowing me insider Her?  This has not happened now for nearly two weeks and i am beginning to believe that Miss is now considering it not likely for quite some time and perhaps not ever again.  Some pillow talk during the night before we brought this subject up and i am beginning to understand that my little cock, seen by me as my sissy clit, is now something that Miss does not find sexually arousing or satisfying for the very reason that i do not consider it a masculine thing.  That makes sense to me.  If i don't see it then how can She and why would it or how could it provide Her with sexual satisfaction?

 

To hear Miss say these things to me is both incredibly painful but also incredibly arousing - both at the same time.  The fact that these words are spoken whilst we are in bed together, cuddling, being close and not arguing, merely speaking matter-of factly, gives them even greater meaning.  i asked a very dangerous question that night as well when Miss described that only a Real Man can provide a 'cock' as She considers them to be.  After She had said that i asked 'is that inevitable'?  Silence.....i asked again...continued silence.  Naturally a hardening of my own little clit but also a bit of panic and fear.  'So it's quite possible then Miss that my clit may never again be inside you'?  'Quite probable' was Her reply. 

 

So that is why, quite probably why, that last night there was no chance at all that Miss was going to allow me inside Her.  Why would a gorgeous hot Woman allow something inside Her that does not arouse Her?  No need to answer that!  Again....more arousal for me coupled with angst and worry.

 

i was dressed in a pretty red full length Olga gown, with red lace bra, breast forms, red lace panties and white lace topped hold up stockings. i felt especially feminine and girly, the weight of my forms pulling on my bra straps, my little clit dampening the front of my panties. Whilst we were on the sofa, Miss announced that i was to join Her in Her chambers in five minutes.  Was She going to allow me to cum?  Would i get to soil Her panties and clean them up?  It's not about you sissy - my conscience kept reminding me!

 

 

Her pleasure remained paramount and seeing Her next to me in Her bed in Her chambers, dressed in a beautiful pink Olga with stunning red panties i just hoped that the oral skills all good sissies aspire to have would be enough for Her.  With fingers first and kisses i expressed my love for Her.  During intimate moments i kiss Her with more passion that my usual kisses of the day.  Miss had already told me by now that i was going to make Her cum (or at least try) and then leave Her to go to my own chambers where i was to play with myself into a condom.  She could not have made it any clearer.

 

Worshipping Her petals with my fingers, lips and tongue is such an honour.  She tastes truly heavenly with a quite delightful aroma.  With Her panties pulled aside i lovingly kissed, licked and caressed Her pussy but Miss wanted Her panties off and out of the way.  That's not something we normally do but Miss should get what Miss wants and once they were off She definitely became more comfortable and as my ministrations continued Her hard cum came beautifully to Her.  i so love it when Miss cums on my face.  i can feel every spasm, every shake, every pulse and twitch of Her beauty in those moments.

 

 

(Nothing to see here - literally!)

 

 

(Her arse looks way better than mine in these panties)

 

True to Her word, Miss had no need for me and was not going to be providing anything for my release....other than....handing me Her gorgeous panties and telling me to go and play with myself with them on and to have them hand washed and dried before giving them back.  Wonderful!!  i daintily stepped into them and left Her to Her rest and sleep.  i imagined Miss had given me them having come home from a date with a potential lover.  There had been no sex on this first date but Miss had definitely been aroused in His company.  My little clit throbbed and twitched inside them before dribbling out my sissy cum.  Thank you Miss.  x

 

 

(sissy dribbles)

 

 

p.s Miss asked me a few days ago what this 'experiment' i am conducting was all about and She was quite forceful in wanting answers.  i felt so pained because i want Her to allow me to let it run its course and then tell Her what i have done.  i assured Her again that there is nothing in it for Her to be worried about, there really isn't but imagining me in Her place i could understand why She was agitated.  As a gesture of trust and thanks i'm going to shorten it from end of February to Feb 15th. 

Questions And Delightful Sex From Miss

Yesterday afternoon and Miss was working from home.  Neither of us has had any need to say it again since Miss asked that question but it was very apparent to us both that our sexual relationship has reached a position, an aspect perhaps that we both finally understand.  We understand that i am a sissy and that this is how i am going to be for the rest of my life.  We understand that Miss does not really get any form of sexual satisfaction from me being a sissy all of the time.  Miss came to sit by me late in the afternoon and i explained to Her that i thought there were some ways in which i could 'get rid' of the new Mistress - whose continuing presence in my life is causing Miss great concern.

 

1.  You leave me Miss.

2.  i let Mistress know that i don't want to be Her sissy anymore.

3.  Mistress lets me know that She has no need for me as Her sissy.

4.  You order me to tell Mistress option 2.

5.  You take a lover.

 

Miss told me that She was not going to leave me, which was a great relief, although i still do feel that it might happen.  Option 1 off the table.  Miss told me that it is down to me to tell Mistress, so option 4 off the table.  Option 3 could happen at any time.  Option 5?  Miss then began explaining how it would be too complicated, too time consuming, too tiring and interestingly, cause me to resent Her if She took a lover. 

 

It was not the time nor place to even try and counter any of Her thoughts.  That would have been counter-productive and more than likely have ended up with arguments.  No, i kept silent.  It is wonderful to hear Miss talk about the subject and just as wonderful to hear Her project Her thoughts as to why having a lover would be hard to do.  Let Her, almost like Gollum does, pitch the pros and cons out there to Herself. 

 

Miss knows my thoughts and why i think it would not be complicated so there was no need to keep going back at Her with the same counter-arguments She has heard many times before.  What i do think however is that whilst Miss might get some sort of pleasure physically from me She will never be able to get the physical pleasures She wants and deserves.  Now this does not mean that we don't love each other hugely. 

 

To Miss it must be incredibly frustrating to know that i can only get my sexual excitement from being with Her as a sissy.  Both physically and emotionally.  i can totally relate to this because She is a gorgeous Woman who would have no problems whatsoever attracting a Man.  She still has so much to offer sexually and lots of time in life for that.  So when She sees me mincing around in lingerie, when She feels me kissing Her like a girl, when She has to hear me talk about my penis as a clit, and none of it arouses Her like sex with a Real Man does then how can i possibly be providing Her with sexual satisfaction? 

 

i hope Miss does not think though that it is the concept of being a sissy that does it for me?  It certainly is not only that.  It is being with Her as a sissy that does it for me.  It's the love i have for Her for allowing me to be who i am, to tolerate it.  Most of all it is when She helps me with it sexually....by what She says, by what She does for me with pleasures.  This is sex AND love.  By not leaving me because i am a sissy Miss has perhaps quietly signalled to me that She can deal with it and when i see it like that it makes me love Her even more.

 

But....just how much lack of sexual fulfilment can Miss stomach? Yes....i can make Her cum but how much more of this type of sex, with me in lingerie, false tits, gowns, skirts, blouses, dresses, moaning like a girl, kissing like a girl, cumming like a girl can Miss put up with if it's the only of type of sex i can provide?  i don't know the answer to that.  Is She really going to be happy sexually with this for the next twenty something years??

 

i have now told 'new' Mistress that i can no longer be Her sissy....Why did i do that?  To save us.  i love Miss not Mistress.  So simple and so easy and so right.  Miss does not know i have done that yet.  So option 2 is off the table.  You may have picked up on this already but i see these 'options' as the things that can save our relationship and make us better together.  It's not rocket science now to see what is left.  Option 5.  A lover for Miss.

 

Yes, i'll get a huge sexual thrill from it but....and the biggest but is that i absolutely believe that Miss taking a lover will be the best thing that could happen for Her.  Even more important than what will happen for us.  i'm not leaving Her..She's not leaving me (i think?!) and i'm always a sissy.  Just what is left?  Option 5.  i'm currently carrying out an experiment around Option 5 that i'd like Miss to allow me to let run until the end of February.  It does not put Her in any compromising positions or any awkward situations. It is simply a test which i'd like Miss to allow me to do and then show Her what my findings are.  Miss reads the blog so 'please Miss, of course acknowledge what i'm doing but trust me and let me run it to the end of Feb and please allow me to show you what i've done.  i promise that there is no harm to you in what i'm doing'. 

 

 

 

Last night i told Miss over dinner that i'd love to have some fun and frolics with Her that evening and i told Her i'd like to cum on a pair of Her black lace panties (whilst She wore them). i told Her i'd like to make Her cum with my tongue and fingers too.  i wanted to please Her and to give Her an orgasm.  Miss presented Herself to me later looking absolutely stunning.  Donned in a gorgeous full length light green satin Olga gown, natural hold up stockings and a hot pair of black lace panties with a sheer polka dot back.  Stunning!  i wore (very surprisingly for a sissy), a black full length night gown, black lace bra with breast forms, black lace panties, black lace suspender belt and smoky grey stockings.

 

i fully expected Miss to allow my pleasure in Her chambers but She insisted we did it on the sofa in the living room.  i so wanted to give Her an orgasm but it seemed Miss felt that She 'could not cum'.  Was this down to me and me being dressed as i was just not doing it for Her?  That has not always been the case in the past but perhaps now....now that we are where we are in 'understanding'....maybe that's it for Miss.  In a way that turned me on even more but in a way it also made me a bit sad if true.  i hope it is not true.  My oral attention to Her gorgeous petals was not going to bring about the result i so wanted Her to have and rather than force this or get upset about it i concentrated on showing my love for Her by doing as i promised....cumming on Her panties. 

 

'The front or the back' asked Miss.  'Both' i replied!  Knowing i could not physically achieve that but also wanting to have all of Her all at once, knowing that i wanted to take in all of Her sexiness at the same time but i had to choose.  'Front please Miss'.  Her panties were very wet.  Not from Her arousal but from my previous wet kisses there. i told Her how nice they felt, being wet, being wet perhaps for someone else?  Miss murmured.  i think She approved.  When She began stroking Her own sex over the delicate black lace and urging me to cum 'cum right here sissy' i had no chance of holding back and my pitiful sissy squirts fell onto Her panties. 

 

'i think i should clean that up Miss' i asked, more in hope than anything else.  'You should get the practice in sissy'.  Miss replied.  Oh wow!!  We both knew the connotations of that.  Was that deliberate?  A hint of things to come?  Let's not ponder on that too long for now and just enjoy, what i enjoyed, lovingly licking up, tasting and consuming my sissy cream freshly decorating the panties of the Woman i love so much.  Of course i imagined it to be from someone else, of course i imagined Miss making me do my duty, to please both Her and Her lover but most of all and beyond my sissy imaginations.... i felt such love for Her. x

 

p.s Miss asked me if that was the first time i have ever done that and it was, i liked the taste too! 'Does it all taste the same Miss?'  'Just like pussy juice sissy, no, not all the same'.  'Your pussy juice is the sweetest ever Miss - the best ever'.  It's the only pussy juice i ever want to taste. x

A Month Of Downs And Ups

 

 

A whole month....that's how long since i've posted something here.  That's not like me at all and of course there's a reason.  Stress. Emotional turmoil. Sadness.  Four weeks of quite horrible feelings.  When you are sissy and the femininity within you is not happy then it's impossible to be able to write a blog.  Miss must have noticed...and i am sure you all have too...the lack of blogs from me.

 

Before Christmas Miss gave me an implicit instruction, an order. 'You need to find yourself a new Mistress sissy'.  She meant it.  What i failed to interpret was that She also meant that if i did that then it would be over between us.  i did exactly what She said and 'found' a new Mistress.  We have had a meeting, overnight, where i was sexually humiliated.  There really is no need for the details, Miss knows them all anyway.  At that time i genuinely felt that Miss had given up on me and had had enough of my girlish sissiness. Was She really sending me a message that She wanted me to stop being a sissy? Was She hoping that She could 'get it out of my system'? i just don't know.  The truth is however that i am a sissy and i simply can't be anything else emotionally or sexually.  To not be true to yourself is not me being me.  In the days after my meeting with 'The Mistress' Miss and i sank to an all time low.  It certainly looked over.

 

Confusingly though, Miss and i had three wonderful lovemaking sessions during which She dressed erotically and, just like before, verbally and mentally humiliated me to orgasm.  In one of those sessions Miss again fucked my sissy pussy with a black dildo after having made me wear my butt plug.  The sex was wonderful but my mind and feelings were doing cartwheels of confusion.  She wanted to end it right?  She wanted me gone right? She was possibly going to leave Herself right?  It's all that we seemed to be doing, arguing, getting angry yet.....in all of those days She was still willing to have great sex with me....i could not make any sense of it.  i loved Her but did She love me...i mean really love me? 

 

To me it seemed like Miss had had enough of my femininity.  At Her most upset She would say some truly cutting things.  i think that those things were Her frustrations and of course i was the rightful target.  It is very difficult to look through the eyes of someone else but it should be very easy to do it if the eyes are of the person you love so much and that you know you will never find anyone to love more.  My sissiness is my sexuality.  i do not feel right unless i am wearing women's lingerie. i cannot be anyone other than the sissy i am. 

 

Then the next bombshell.  Miss found my profile on a dating site and it was from that site that the other 'Mistress' made contact with me.  More anger from Miss, more hurt, more arguing, more grief, more feelings pained.  Again, i had failed to understand the true meaning of what Miss said when She told me to find another Mistress.  She meant that if i did then it would be over between us.  Yet.....it seems now that it is not over and does confusion reign once more or has an understanding, an acceptance, finally been reached?  The 'other' Mistress is not who i love.  The 'other' Mistress will go.  The 'other' Mistress is simply a manifestation of the horrible month we had...yet...She is still there...She is still there because i am a sissy and....She is still there because i don't know if the Miss i want to be with forever really wants to be my Miss at all?  i want to lose Her, i want...i need Miss to tell me to lose Her......or has another way just made itself apparent?

 

'How would you feel if I took a lover'?

 

OMG! 

 

Those were the words Miss said to me on Saturday evening.  Words i have longed for....yearned for and hoped to hear Her say - or something similar.  My mind is in a bit of a blur right now and i hope you can understand why but i think i can recall Miss adding to that statement, or was it before the statement....something along the lines of 'since it's quite obvious this is how you are going to be all the time'.  She was referring to how i was dressed but more than that, my sissiness, the fact that i am a sissy and that's how i will always be. 

 

You may already be aware that we have played in the past.  Miss has had arranged one nighters with various Bulls. Some of those experiences have been wonderful for Her and some have been less than wonderful.  i don't think She ever wants those type of flings again.  i think She wants something more permanent, more satisfying, more exciting and more fulfilling  - on a regular basis and totally in Her control. 

 

 So why.....why did She say this and what was She saying it for?

 

1. Miss wants a lover.  Straightforward and simple.  Why?  Isn't that obvious?!  Although i have not asked Her that question.  Do i need to?

 

2. Miss wanted to test the water with my reaction and my reaction/response would help Her make Her own mind up.

 

As soon as She said it i felt my little clit stir and wetness in my panties.  Shocked, stunned, aroused, totally on the back-foot and for a few seconds, unable to speak.  Was this for real?  i think it was.  i probably went off on a total ramble of utter nonsense when i replied but i did my best to try and explain five very important issues for me should Miss 'take a lover'.

 

1. She can't run off with someone - ever-ever...just not ever!  No leaving me for anyone.  If there was even the slightest whiff of that happening then 'the Lover' would be a Man running scared.

 

2. Safety. Security.  Miss does not ever put Herself in any positions or situations where Her personal safety is compromised or at risk.

 

3. Miss must tell me that She is going to do this.  In other words, She's definitely decided to go ahead and 'take a Lover'.

 

4. i want to be included.  By that i mean Her lover or lovers must know about me, about sissy and that i am an important part of the dynamic.

 

5. Miss and i do not stop having a loving sexual relationship.  Granted there will be differences to the physical aspects with me and with a Lover or Lovers but i can never give Her up completely to anyone.

 

i sincerely hope i made those points clear to Miss.  So what happens next??  God knows!  Do i just sit back and let Miss get on with it?  Indeed, how will She get on with it?  Does She want to use the internet, does She want to go out somewhere with friends? Does She want me to come up with the ideas and make it happen for Her?  Or do i come up with the ideas and She uses them to make it happen?  i would willingly do whatever She asks. Amongst my random ramblings in response to Her knockout statement i talked of buying Her a special phone, wanting to help Her prepare for dates with new clothes and lingerie, a willingness to pay for restaurants, hotel rooms, providing lifts and pick ups for Her, anything that makes it seamless and enjoyable for Her. 

 

So many thoughts....so many possibilities.  If such things were predictable, here is how i could imagine one way of Miss 'taking a Lover'.....

 

She has an advert online.  Discreet. No photograph.  She describes Herself as a hot sexy blonde looking for fun with a reliable and trustworthy Man.  She describes Her current relationship as loving and permanent but with a lack of sexual fulfilment.  Something like Ashley Maddison. (a site set up intentionally for people to have safe and mutually satisfying affairs). Miss gets many responses - and She would!  Online messaging to start with and then eventually an exchange of pictures (with Her special phone of course!). An arranged date.  A first meeting.  i take Her and i discretely watch - unbeknown to the Man. Not a kink for me but SECURITY!

 

It may only take one date it may take two or three but eventually Miss will find someone who She thinks ticks all the right boxes for Her.  It is Her boxes that count - not mine.  From that moment on...She has Her lover.

 

If this is what Miss wants  - a lover - or maybe a spare or two as well - then what do i think would be in it for Her?

 

Everything this article describes:

 

http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2015-07-why-having-a-lover-makes-me-a-better-wife/

 

...and....for me?  After all, that is what Miss was asking wasn't it?

 

A love for Her so strong that i'd be bursting with it. i'd feel so much closer to Her.  Competitive.  That's the testosterone - which can't be helped! Happy.  Happy because She would be happy. 

 

Perhaps most importantly for us both - how it would affect us both.  i see an end to all these stupid, relationship threatening arguments, which, all boil down to sex and me being a sissy. 

 

Thank you for reading all of that.  No pictures or erotic details.  They are not necessary.  What was necessary are my thoughts and musings over what has been a very difficult period for us both and the fact that we are still together shows how much we do care about each other. 

 

So is this the start of something? x