Friday, 22 March 2019

A Thing For Tights...

....or Pantyhose as they are called over the pond.  Actually, i quite like that term for them - 'pantyhose' - might be because it contains the word 'panty'??
(full sheer to waist tights, gorgeous vintage style red lace panties and my little clit encased behind it all)
Up until recently i've not considered tights to be sexy - not in the slightest.  All of that has changed.  Ok, they are still not as sexy as stockings and suspenders but i am going to have to admit, tights CAN be sexy.  Day to day at work Miss is a wearer of tights.  She used to wear stockings and suspenders on Fridays in what was known as 'stockings Fridays' but this has long since gone by the wayside.  Despite that i still do find Her considerably sexy in tights, especially if the panties She is wearing underneath them are lacy.  i have a particular fantasy of Miss coming home from work one day with evidence of some hot passionate lovemaking clearly visible on Her tights, especially over the front or back of them at the panty area.  Hmmmmm. 

(my favourite view of tights - i think they enhance my sissy tushy quite nicely!)
It seemed logical to me then to try them for myself.  To see if i could enjoy wearing them and to see if they aroused me and if they could have the effect of making me still feel like a sissy.  The result?  They do!  My first pair actually came from Miss a few weeks ago.  i had mentioned to Her that i was thinking of trying on a pair and within minutes She had found me a pair of Her own, a pair of natural coloured tights, and handed them to me - wow!  Needless to say, I wore them that day over a pair of pretty white lace panties and the arousal was wonderful - made even more so by the fact that they had, at some time, been worn by Miss.  It goes without saying that i enjoyed them to the full by creaming into them with my sissy squirts.
So now I have added to that pair with three more of my own.  An online order from StockingsHQ which arrived yesterday.  1x Black, 1x Barely Black and 1x Natural.  i'm discovering the massive differences between wearing them and wearing stockings with suspenders or hold ups.  They take more time to put on, they feel much warmer, they are an absolute pain when going to the toilet!  However, i love how they feel on my legs and most of all on my tiny sissy clit if i pull it out from my panties and allow it to be caressed by the nylon.  Tights allow me to caress and stroke my clit through the material which provides an amazing sensation and then of course there is the climax of my weak sissy squirts pumping out into the nylon.  Such a naughty girl!
The wonderful internet has quite a lot of hot porn clips which feature Real Men cumming hard and spraying their love over Women wearing tights.  i find there is something really hot about watching their cum splash out in pulses, landing all over the tights the Women are wearing - a favourite is when they cum on Her from behind, Her panties showing through the tights. 
For me they are not going to replace stockings and suspenders as the most sexiest thing a Woman or sissy can wear but i am so pleased that i have 'discovered' them.  x

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

The Erotic Pleasure Of sissy Humiliation And Embarrassment

3 weeks??!!  Really?  3 weeks!  That's how long it is since i have posted anything to my blog.  Some might think that i may have stopped being a sissy?  Oh no - no way- never!  Once a sissy....always a sissy.  But 3 weeks!  Very naughty of me and i apologise.  It's not as if i have not had anything worth blogging with but somehow time got the better of me and the blog lapsed into a state of suspension.  A poor excuse.
The title of this blog should be something many sissies can appreciate.  It's about how we just love being humiliated and embarrassed, either by our superior Females or by things we do ourselves.  Before i carry on however, there is one very important point to make on this subject and that is that whatever the scenario or situation there is nothing clever or even remotely erotic about deliberately forcing yourself on other people in order to arouse yourself.  Miss and i had a brief talk about this the other day when She asked what i did when at a public toilet and using the urinals.  The question was very pertinent since i will always be wearing something feminine and girly under outer male clothing.  'Do people see your panties and stockings'? She asked.  i explained how i don't make a fuss and how i don't try to draw attention to myself in those situations.  i simply unzip, remove my tiny clit and do the necessary.  If anyone notices any of my pretties then they notice - i don't force them to notice by doing something outrageous like dropping my jeans to the floor! 
So back to the title of the blog.  A creative thinking Superior Female can certainly put Her sissy in many situations which will provide degrees of humiliation and embarrassment for 'her'.  Miss has done this in the past with direct cuckolding either making me watch or forcing me to listen to Her on the phone.  There's also shopping trips.  Making your sissy buy something for themselves with clear instructions to engage with shop assistants.  There are also possibilities that could be explored with Her trusted friends.  Imagine being told one day that your 'little secret' has been shared - and imagine not knowing who with? 
Another effective method used by Superior Females it to publically address you as 'sissy'.  This could be on a night out, at a restaurant. anywhere is possible.  It does not have to be forced - just casually used in an everyday conversational style.  Timed to perfection it can be beautifully effective. 
As sissies, we are also quite capable of humiliating and embarrassing ourselves.  The simple ways are often the most effective.  Having subtle hints of bra straps showing under tops, having panties peeking out from jeans or trousers.  Even braver sissies have answered their doors to deliveries in nightgowns or bare topped with the clear markings of a bra having been worn.  Again, the key to doing this right and without causing a disturbance is not to force it - rather behave absolutely naturally - which, after all, as a sissy, is what we should be doing anyway. 
All of this and the many more ways the erotic effects of humiliation and embarrassment can be achieved require a 'confirmation effect'. This effect is best realised with Women. These range from knowing smiles, giggles, stifled laughter, open laughter and even direct questioning.  i know exactly what it is like to experience that moment when my bra has been noticed under a top or my panties have been seen when i'm bending down to a low shelf in a shop.  i've heard the giggles and the laughter.  i've seen the knowing smiles.
Keep it safe, keep it under control, keep it subtle, keep it 'natural'.  There is so much fun to be had being a sissy in humiliating and embarrassing situations. x

Saturday, 23 February 2019

Every Morning Is A Girly Morning

i just love waking up dressed as a sissy girl.  Instantly i'm reminded of what i wore as i retired to bed in my chambers.  Each waking moment enhanced by the thrill of the items of feminine clothing i'm wearing.  The gorgeous sensations of gradually waking, knowing that i'm in a pretty bra, my breast forms heaving and pressing deliciously into my bra cups.  Panties too, sometimes a little damp with my girly sissy excitement, if i've had an especially hot dream.  Suspender belt and stockings.  i don't always sleep in stockings but they too provide such swoony sensations of girly bliss as my legs brush together under the bed clothes.  Finally the nightgown.  This particular piece of femininity has the 'honour' of brushing and caressing every other item of clothing i'm wearing underneath it.  So wonderful, so girly, so femme!
It's hard to keep my little sissy clit down when i wake.  To start the day knowing that you are dressed as a sissy and feeling the gorgeous clothing makes it quite an effort to stop 'her' from hardening.  It often takes a superhuman job to resist touching my tiny cock as it dampens and pushes out into the pretty panties i'm wearing. 
Then there's the girly dressing gown that Miss got for me two Christmases ago. Satin, floral, pink and oh so feminine.  Slipping this over my attire, tying the waist so that my lace clad breasts jut enticingly out and simply swooning in the overload of feminine bliss and heavenly girlishness. 
My first duty of the day is to serve Miss her morning tea in Her chambers.  Such a delightful experience.  Daintily alighting the stairs, sashaying my hips, mincing, pressing my breasts forward, my garments whispering and swaying, taking dainty steps.  Giving my curtsey, kissing the hand of Miss, bending gently to place Her tea on Her bedside table.  Hoping Miss might want some pleasures - She usually doesn't.  Then back down the stairs in such feminine delight, once more revelling in the feeling of silks, satin, lace, straps.  Wonderful!
This is what i wore most of last evening, through the night and for the early part of this morning.  One of my most favourite 'boudoir' style negligees.
i just adore the semi sheer material and corseted style bust pattern.  What is not showing is the deliciously seductive front split that is purely designed to arouse and tease.  Something a Real Woman would wear for a Real Man but equally appreciated by a sissy.
There's the split of the gown, revealing my special embroidered 'sissy cuckold' panties.  Such dainty panties, concealing the most delicate and tiny sissy cock.  i love how the straps of my suspender belt can clearly be seen through the material as well as the tops of my pretty white stockings.  Could anything ever be more girly??
A naughty 'upshot' of my pretty panties, again showing the hardly noticeable mound of my little clit.

Ohhhhh. Full pantied sissy bottom in prissy pink with those oh so delicate ruffles.  Just yearning to be exposed, humiliated and utterly embarrassed.

Who knows what each day will bring but to start it off as a sissy is a good start indeed! x

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Games and 'Games'.

An excellent game of Scrabble with Miss last night.  She came very close to another win but thanks to an 81pointer from me with the third last lay of tiles i managed to hold Her off.  It's a great bonding time for us when we play Scrabble and i do enjoy it immensely. 
As the game concluded i cheekily asked Miss if She required me for anything else and was even more cheeky, after hearing Her say 'no', to ask if She might not mind helping me to achieve a sissy cum?  Miss knows that She could simply order me to satisfy myself but it is so much more intimate and meaningful with Her there.  It's all 3 parts of the jigsaw i wrote about in an earlier blog post.  Miss decided that She would retire upstairs, slip into a pretty gown and then 'help me' play.
She looked so gorgeous when She came down wearing a dark blue vintage full length Olga gown.  i was also dressed in an Olga, mine being red.  Under that i had on a pretty set of red lace bra and panties with black lace topped hold up stockings.  i love the way my Olgas allow the lace of my bra cups with forms in to thrust forward and display themselves.  It really does make me feel oh so feminine and girly.  As Miss sat down next to me She casually tossed a condom onto my lap 'see if you can get your sissy clit hard enough for that and then cum into it'.
When She's good....She's very very good.......
What followed however was a quite surreal experience where somehow again the subject of the Ashley Maddison site came up.  'Have you found any lovers for me sissy?' asked Miss.  In the context that we were being intimate this sort of comment would, in the past, be part of the mind games and teasing Miss employs to bring me to orgasm.  i feel things are different now and i sensed Miss actually meant it.  Or at least She meant She wanted to know if i thought anybody of the replies i had so far might be of interest to Her - in my opinion. 
As i sheathed my tiny cock with the rubber of the condom and with Miss delightfully mocking it's (lack of) size we then had a very interesting conversation about AM and somehow we kept dipping back and forth between how an actual date for Miss might end up playing out.  i was certainly not expecting this and yes, my sissy cock was certainly responding but my mind was trying to work out what it was Miss was working towards.
We talked about a typical first date...a meeting only....very likely to be no sex and then Miss saying 'on a second date there definitely would be sex!'  We talked about me buying new clothes and lingerie for Miss 'I might even let you dress me sissy'.  We talked about transport, 'I can use taxis for that sissy'.  We talked about safety.  'Stop trying to control it all sissy!'.  i hope Miss realises that i'm not.  Miss joked about what if Her lover had a small cock or even wore panties...oh the irony!  This very easy, casual conversation was pinging back and forth between us and i think it helped us imagine what the reality could be like.
What i was glad of however was the chance to let Miss know that any date She does choose to go on is not about's all about Her.  i told Her how i would make sure that everything would be taken care of domestically, that She'd have only one thing to think about and that being having a good time, in relaxation and with no worries.  It would be all about Her enjoyment, the excitement, the thrill, the attention She'd get from a Real Man...the wining....the dining, the flirting. 
Miss does seem to think Her enjoying Real Men is weighted towards my excitement and my pleasure.  i can't deny that i will get enjoyment as well but Hers is the main factor and the priority. i assured Her that i would not be demanding to know everything, that i would not be expecting to be there, that i would not be expecting recordings or even to be revealed to a lover as the cuckold sissy in Her life.  All of that would be up to Her to decide if She chose to. 'Well, I might make some secret recordings for you sissy' She said.  A lovely thought but not essential Miss.   
(An aspiration not an expectation)
i am now of the belief that Miss won't actually create 'Her own profile' on AM but instead may be much more favourable to me continuing 'the experiment' and 'looking out' for potential playmates.  i am happy to do that for Her. After all, it can be quite a time consuming activity - and i certainly have the time!  i think Miss is subtly trying to let me know that, for now, this is the way She prefers it to develop. This is still 'the process' stage.
So my plan is to keep 'my profile' up there and visit it daily.  i will 'keep' the contacts of Men who are both good looking and articulate and who come across well.  There are a couple of those already.  i'll then find a way to let Miss know that they might be worth Her looking at. 
How do i further encourage Miss from here?  i simply don't.  i can only try to imagine what it is like for Her now.  Perhaps if i were in Her place, i'd try to split this down into two further parts. The first being the experience of the date and the second being the experience of the potential lover on that date.  At this moment in time i think that the actual 'experience' of going on a date and all the things that entails from nerves, to wanting to look good, to feeling good and perhaps many more are what i would be thinking most about.  How would it make me feel??  x

Monday, 18 February 2019

Shifting Sands

i think that Miss is warming to the idea of undergoing the process of taking a lover.  Now.....that's not necessarily the same thing as actually having a lover and i think it's important to separate the two things.
The process to me (and i also think means the same to Miss) is the groundwork beforehand, putting Herself out there as wanting to play, becoming interested, seeing what's available.  From developments over the past few days i believe that Miss wants to begin that process. 
Firstly, let's be absolutely certain that me being a sissy is not providing any sort of sexual fulfilment for Miss.  Whilst we are still being intimate and i'm still able to give Miss orgasms and pleasure it is a fact that the sex for Her is lacking.  We both know this. We both accept this.  It does NOT however mean that there is no love between us. 
i wrote previously about how i ended my experiment and showed Miss what it was all about.  A follower of mine, Stephanie, who is almost psychic in Her perceptions of reading between the lines, made a very accurate remark about what me showing Miss would mean to Miss.  So it was then that on Saturday afternoon Miss again brought up the subject of the Ashley Maddison site which to me looks like the very best site to use for 'the process'.  Miss asked me to show Her the profile i created and wanted to know more about how it worked.   It's quite an odd feeling showing the person you love a site which could eventually be Her path into finding excitement, flirtatious fun and potential sexual fulfilment.
As i have learned, it is not good policy to push Miss or to try and force the pace.  i took a very laid back approach as i showed Her how the site worked and the different types of responses, pictures, comments that 'my profile' had received.  About an hour after i had finished this with Miss She simply came out with the statement 'have you set up my profile on Ashley Maddison yet sissy'?  An absolute bolt from the blue and it rendered me utterly speechless.  i simply failed to reply.
Miss also started mentioning things about 'not really wanting to have another phone, i could use my work one perhaps with a separate number'....and 'i'll need to have a picture up, blurred out would be best'.  Again i was lost for words......have i missed the moment, failed to seize the moment??  What do i do now??  Is Miss just waiting for me to set it up for Her or is She going to get on with it Herself?  i really don't know what to do next. 
Bear in mind that Miss was not saying these things whilst we were being sexually intimate.  She was openly letting me hear Her thoughts and how She Herself could see things happening for that 'process'.  Of course i would gladly set something up for Her if She asked.  We would have to talk about it and then do it together - if that's what She wants?  So even before 'the process' begins i think we will both need to work together.
i've decided therefore to do nothing until Miss decides She's ready.  It's the best thing and the right thing to do.  They say butterflies in the stomach....?  i say there's a whole Amazonian Forest of them in my stomach right now! x

Saturday, 16 February 2019

Experiment Over

i promised Miss that i would end my 'experiment' earlier than planned and then tell Her what it was - that's exactly what i did last night.
First though some lovely sex with Miss on Valentines Day afternoon.  i say 'lovely sex' when in actuality it was probably not that good for Miss.  Yes, She came but i don't think She was too pleased that my tiny cock was not going to get even remotely hard unless there was some element of 'sissiness' involved in the lovemaking.  i really hope Miss knows by now that it is not Her not turning me on rather that it is the concept of making love to Her as a Real Man would which results in me not being aroused.  It's very complex and must seem odd and weird to Miss - i understand that.  Since i am not a Real Man sexually then i can't perform like one.  Miss absolutely does turn me on but like a jigsaw, my arousal needs all the pieces in place.  It's a small jigsaw of 3 pieces. 1. Miss. 2. Being a sissy. 3. Miss re-enforcing my effeminate sissiness.
It was wonderful to be allowed inside Her, after just over a month, and i lovingly enjoyed it when Miss belittled my tiny cock.  She also gave me some delightful oral attention.  Actually twice!  Firstly before any mention of sissy - which although felt good was not going to make me hard for Her but once Miss had told me how pathetic my cock was and how small it is there was a substantial difference.  Actually, 'substantial' is not exactly the right word to use! 
So....the experiment.  Two weeks ago i joined AshleyMaddison as a pretend female with a profile placing me as local, attached and with an unsatisfactory sex life.  i detailed that i was not looking to leave the relationship i was in and that i had a busy working life.  i provided no pictures.  The response?  Plenty.  Many men, mostly in similar positions got in contact.  Some provided pictures, clear faces, blurry faces, even their cocks!  Some of them wrote very nice messages, well-worded, not pushy and quite open and honest about their own 'situation'.  Some messages were quite the opposite.  i simply let this happen for two weeks....and then Miss demanded that i show Her and tell Her why i did it.
i let Miss know that it was simply an experiment to see 'what was out there', how that site worked, the type of men on it and how the 'system worked'.  That's actually the truth!  It was not me creating a profile for Miss behind Her back or me trying to force Miss into something.  So what did i get from it  - that was Miss asking!  Enlightenment.  Some amusement.  Some entertainment.  What did Miss think of it?  i'm not sure.  She did ask if any men had sent 'cock' pictures - which i found both interesting and amusing!
What will Miss do now?  Again, i'm not sure.  She told me She did not know what the AshleyMaddison site was about or that it existed.  Really?? x

Friday, 8 February 2019

No Need For You sissy

Physically being a sissy is one thing but emotionally being a sissy is something else.  Whilst it is obvious to say that i will never be 100% female there are certainly some parts of those special feminine gifts that i do posses and one of them is 'female intuition'. 
This morning, as usual (the honour it is) i brought Miss Her cup of tea in Her chambers.  There was something about the way in which She woke and stirred that hinted to me that She was feeling 'in the mood'.  i performed my customary curtsey and then another one as i left.  In my mind was the question 'will Miss be wanting me for anything before She goes to work'?  That call never came but my intuition just knew that Miss had already or was going to play with Herself.
On my morning walk, with Miss still relaxing ( a late start for Her today), She sent me a nice text wishing me a good walk especially as the weather was foul.  i replied my thanks and 'hope you have a nice play Miss'.  A bit cheeky i know.  Miss responded that 'I already have'.  i told Her my 'feminine intuition' had informed me and asked what She had thought about whilst She played.  i did not get a reply to that one! 
Miss had not left for work when i returned and  i could see the glow on Her that told me She had a wonderful orgasm.  i did ask meekly why She did not want me to 'assist' as i was quite surprised She actually played whilst i was in the house at the same time.  i suspect this was not the first time.  Miss was quite dismissive and rightly fact She did not need to tell me as such but why would She involve me?? It would have been nice to know though what it was that got Her in the mood?  Something or someone from Her late meeting last night perhaps?  Miss just has to say....i would not be upset...i'd be pleased! 
As She left for work, i did notice some differences in Miss.  Firstly Her heels.  Much higher than usual.  She was pretty much equal height to me in them and i can't recall seeing Her in these heels before - for work anyway.  A bit more make-up than usual as well.  Is Miss dressing to impress??  i remarked about the heels and quipped 'it will be straps next Miss (a reference to wearing stockings and suspenders).  No reply from Her to that one.
i do hope She would tell me if She was 'dressing to impress'.  She has nothing to fear. i would not be angry.  i'm sure She knows that. Anyway, She looked gorgeous and if it is for someone else then that's wonderful Miss. x

Thursday, 7 February 2019

Visible Bra

(My gorgeously girly Camille pink bra)
i think most sissies love being risky, love doing things that have a high chance of them being exposed or discovered as sissies.  Whether it be wearing something, saying something or doing something, there's a wonderful amount of erotic excitement and arousal to be had from making it subtly known to other people that 'i am a sissy'.  Interestingly Miss mentioned something like this the other night.  She mentioned that perhaps it's time that other people get to know that i am a sissy.  She's not mentioned it again since then or how that could happen and i'm not entirely sure what She wants to achieve with this but it does sound quite exciting. 
Anyway....i do love wearing certain types of 'man clothes' that make it quite obvious that i am also wearing something very pretty and girly underneath. The classic thin white t-shirt takes some beating in this respect when a sissy such as me wishes to show those gorgeous outlines of bra cup lace, bra straps and bra bands.  Panties, stockings etc can be well hidden underneath jeans but a bra....for a just demanding to be let the viewer know that the wearer is without doubt a femmy sissy.  The t-shirt in these pictures (very patriotic!) is very thin and although the flag pattern does some sort of job of concealing most of the bra, there are some wonderful hints of what's underneath. 
(Visible delicate bra strap leading down to the gorgeous lace of the cup)
Miss noticed this yesterday, commenting that my bra was very obvious and easily noticeable.  Just how i like it Miss was my reply.  i added that i'd love to get more white tops of a thin material which will clearly show my bras through them.  i don't think Miss was particularly impressed with my enthusiasm!
The pictures don't really do justice to the visibility of my pretty pink bra but in real life it is, as Miss pointed out, very noticeable.  This of course makes me feel even more girly and femme and of course aroused. 
(The rear band and fastening of my pretty bra so very obvious)
With the warmer months not too far away now it might be time to get those thinner material t-shirts ordered - white of course.  i really should get out more and show my true sissy colours - don't you think? Perhaps Miss might 'encourage' me? x

Monday, 4 February 2019

Being Used By Miss

Her pleasure first.  Her satisfaction first.  Her orgasms first.  First is where i put Miss....always.  Yesterday i was feeling very hot for Miss and sent a cheeky, optimistic text message to Her in the hope that i might be allowed to provide Her with some sexual satisfaction later that evening.  i so wanted to be able to do something for try and provide Her with an orgasm.  As every sissy knows our cock clits are not our primary weapon.  Instead we rely mainly on our lips, mouths and fingers to pleasure our superior Females.  It was this offer that i made to Miss hoping too that She might also allow me to show my appreciation for Her by cumming my sissy squirts onto Her panties.  She did grant me this but not in the way i had asked.
i also, rather rudely, asked in my text if Miss might consider allowing me insider Her?  This has not happened now for nearly two weeks and i am beginning to believe that Miss is now considering it not likely for quite some time and perhaps not ever again.  Some pillow talk during the night before we brought this subject up and i am beginning to understand that my little cock, seen by me as my sissy clit, is now something that Miss does not find sexually arousing or satisfying for the very reason that i do not consider it a masculine thing.  That makes sense to me.  If i don't see it then how can She and why would it or how could it provide Her with sexual satisfaction?
To hear Miss say these things to me is both incredibly painful but also incredibly arousing - both at the same time.  The fact that these words are spoken whilst we are in bed together, cuddling, being close and not arguing, merely speaking matter-of factly, gives them even greater meaning.  i asked a very dangerous question that night as well when Miss described that only a Real Man can provide a 'cock' as She considers them to be.  After She had said that i asked 'is that inevitable'?  Silence.....i asked again...continued silence.  Naturally a hardening of my own little clit but also a bit of panic and fear.  'So it's quite possible then Miss that my clit may never again be inside you'?  'Quite probable' was Her reply. 
So that is why, quite probably why, that last night there was no chance at all that Miss was going to allow me inside Her.  Why would a gorgeous hot Woman allow something inside Her that does not arouse Her?  No need to answer that!  Again....more arousal for me coupled with angst and worry.
i was dressed in a pretty red full length Olga gown, with red lace bra, breast forms, red lace panties and white lace topped hold up stockings. i felt especially feminine and girly, the weight of my forms pulling on my bra straps, my little clit dampening the front of my panties. Whilst we were on the sofa, Miss announced that i was to join Her in Her chambers in five minutes.  Was She going to allow me to cum?  Would i get to soil Her panties and clean them up?  It's not about you sissy - my conscience kept reminding me!
Her pleasure remained paramount and seeing Her next to me in Her bed in Her chambers, dressed in a beautiful pink Olga with stunning red panties i just hoped that the oral skills all good sissies aspire to have would be enough for Her.  With fingers first and kisses i expressed my love for Her.  During intimate moments i kiss Her with more passion that my usual kisses of the day.  Miss had already told me by now that i was going to make Her cum (or at least try) and then leave Her to go to my own chambers where i was to play with myself into a condom.  She could not have made it any clearer.
Worshipping Her petals with my fingers, lips and tongue is such an honour.  She tastes truly heavenly with a quite delightful aroma.  With Her panties pulled aside i lovingly kissed, licked and caressed Her pussy but Miss wanted Her panties off and out of the way.  That's not something we normally do but Miss should get what Miss wants and once they were off She definitely became more comfortable and as my ministrations continued Her hard cum came beautifully to Her.  i so love it when Miss cums on my face.  i can feel every spasm, every shake, every pulse and twitch of Her beauty in those moments.
(Nothing to see here - literally!)
(Her arse looks way better than mine in these panties)
True to Her word, Miss had no need for me and was not going to be providing anything for my release....other than....handing me Her gorgeous panties and telling me to go and play with myself with them on and to have them hand washed and dried before giving them back.  Wonderful!!  i daintily stepped into them and left Her to Her rest and sleep.  i imagined Miss had given me them having come home from a date with a potential lover.  There had been no sex on this first date but Miss had definitely been aroused in His company.  My little clit throbbed and twitched inside them before dribbling out my sissy cum.  Thank you Miss.  x
(sissy dribbles)
p.s Miss asked me a few days ago what this 'experiment' i am conducting was all about and She was quite forceful in wanting answers.  i felt so pained because i want Her to allow me to let it run its course and then tell Her what i have done.  i assured Her again that there is nothing in it for Her to be worried about, there really isn't but imagining me in Her place i could understand why She was agitated.  As a gesture of trust and thanks i'm going to shorten it from end of February to Feb 15th. 

Thursday, 31 January 2019

Questions And Delightful Sex From Miss

Yesterday afternoon and Miss was working from home.  Neither of us has had any need to say it again since Miss asked that question but it was very apparent to us both that our sexual relationship has reached a position, an aspect perhaps that we both finally understand.  We understand that i am a sissy and that this is how i am going to be for the rest of my life.  We understand that Miss does not really get any form of sexual satisfaction from me being a sissy all of the time.  Miss came to sit by me late in the afternoon and i explained to Her that i thought there were some ways in which i could 'get rid' of the new Mistress - whose continuing presence in my life is causing Miss great concern.
1.  You leave me Miss.
2.  i let Mistress know that i don't want to be Her sissy anymore.
3.  Mistress lets me know that She has no need for me as Her sissy.
4.  You order me to tell Mistress option 2.
5.  You take a lover.
Miss told me that She was not going to leave me, which was a great relief, although i still do feel that it might happen.  Option 1 off the table.  Miss told me that it is down to me to tell Mistress, so option 4 off the table.  Option 3 could happen at any time.  Option 5?  Miss then began explaining how it would be too complicated, too time consuming, too tiring and interestingly, cause me to resent Her if She took a lover. 
It was not the time nor place to even try and counter any of Her thoughts.  That would have been counter-productive and more than likely have ended up with arguments.  No, i kept silent.  It is wonderful to hear Miss talk about the subject and just as wonderful to hear Her project Her thoughts as to why having a lover would be hard to do.  Let Her, almost like Gollum does, pitch the pros and cons out there to Herself. 
Miss knows my thoughts and why i think it would not be complicated so there was no need to keep going back at Her with the same counter-arguments She has heard many times before.  What i do think however is that whilst Miss might get some sort of pleasure physically from me She will never be able to get the physical pleasures She wants and deserves.  Now this does not mean that we don't love each other hugely. 
To Miss it must be incredibly frustrating to know that i can only get my sexual excitement from being with Her as a sissy.  Both physically and emotionally.  i can totally relate to this because She is a gorgeous Woman who would have no problems whatsoever attracting a Man.  She still has so much to offer sexually and lots of time in life for that.  So when She sees me mincing around in lingerie, when She feels me kissing Her like a girl, when She has to hear me talk about my penis as a clit, and none of it arouses Her like sex with a Real Man does then how can i possibly be providing Her with sexual satisfaction? 
i hope Miss does not think though that it is the concept of being a sissy that does it for me?  It certainly is not only that.  It is being with Her as a sissy that does it for me.  It's the love i have for Her for allowing me to be who i am, to tolerate it.  Most of all it is when She helps me with it what She says, by what She does for me with pleasures.  This is sex AND love.  By not leaving me because i am a sissy Miss has perhaps quietly signalled to me that She can deal with it and when i see it like that it makes me love Her even more.
But....just how much lack of sexual fulfilment can Miss stomach? Yes....i can make Her cum but how much more of this type of sex, with me in lingerie, false tits, gowns, skirts, blouses, dresses, moaning like a girl, kissing like a girl, cumming like a girl can Miss put up with if it's the only of type of sex i can provide?  i don't know the answer to that.  Is She really going to be happy sexually with this for the next twenty something years??
i have now told 'new' Mistress that i can no longer be Her sissy....Why did i do that?  To save us.  i love Miss not Mistress.  So simple and so easy and so right.  Miss does not know i have done that yet.  So option 2 is off the table.  You may have picked up on this already but i see these 'options' as the things that can save our relationship and make us better together.  It's not rocket science now to see what is left.  Option 5.  A lover for Miss.
Yes, i'll get a huge sexual thrill from it but....and the biggest but is that i absolutely believe that Miss taking a lover will be the best thing that could happen for Her.  Even more important than what will happen for us.  i'm not leaving Her..She's not leaving me (i think?!) and i'm always a sissy.  Just what is left?  Option 5.  i'm currently carrying out an experiment around Option 5 that i'd like Miss to allow me to let run until the end of February.  It does not put Her in any compromising positions or any awkward situations. It is simply a test which i'd like Miss to allow me to do and then show Her what my findings are.  Miss reads the blog so 'please Miss, of course acknowledge what i'm doing but trust me and let me run it to the end of Feb and please allow me to show you what i've done.  i promise that there is no harm to you in what i'm doing'. 
Last night i told Miss over dinner that i'd love to have some fun and frolics with Her that evening and i told Her i'd like to cum on a pair of Her black lace panties (whilst She wore them). i told Her i'd like to make Her cum with my tongue and fingers too.  i wanted to please Her and to give Her an orgasm.  Miss presented Herself to me later looking absolutely stunning.  Donned in a gorgeous full length light green satin Olga gown, natural hold up stockings and a hot pair of black lace panties with a sheer polka dot back.  Stunning!  i wore (very surprisingly for a sissy), a black full length night gown, black lace bra with breast forms, black lace panties, black lace suspender belt and smoky grey stockings.
i fully expected Miss to allow my pleasure in Her chambers but She insisted we did it on the sofa in the living room.  i so wanted to give Her an orgasm but it seemed Miss felt that She 'could not cum'.  Was this down to me and me being dressed as i was just not doing it for Her?  That has not always been the case in the past but perhaps that we are where we are in 'understanding'....maybe that's it for Miss.  In a way that turned me on even more but in a way it also made me a bit sad if true.  i hope it is not true.  My oral attention to Her gorgeous petals was not going to bring about the result i so wanted Her to have and rather than force this or get upset about it i concentrated on showing my love for Her by doing as i promised....cumming on Her panties. 
'The front or the back' asked Miss.  'Both' i replied!  Knowing i could not physically achieve that but also wanting to have all of Her all at once, knowing that i wanted to take in all of Her sexiness at the same time but i had to choose.  'Front please Miss'.  Her panties were very wet.  Not from Her arousal but from my previous wet kisses there. i told Her how nice they felt, being wet, being wet perhaps for someone else?  Miss murmured.  i think She approved.  When She began stroking Her own sex over the delicate black lace and urging me to cum 'cum right here sissy' i had no chance of holding back and my pitiful sissy squirts fell onto Her panties. 
'i think i should clean that up Miss' i asked, more in hope than anything else.  'You should get the practice in sissy'.  Miss replied.  Oh wow!!  We both knew the connotations of that.  Was that deliberate?  A hint of things to come?  Let's not ponder on that too long for now and just enjoy, what i enjoyed, lovingly licking up, tasting and consuming my sissy cream freshly decorating the panties of the Woman i love so much.  Of course i imagined it to be from someone else, of course i imagined Miss making me do my duty, to please both Her and Her lover but most of all and beyond my sissy imaginations.... i felt such love for Her. x
p.s Miss asked me if that was the first time i have ever done that and it was, i liked the taste too! 'Does it all taste the same Miss?'  'Just like pussy juice sissy, no, not all the same'.  'Your pussy juice is the sweetest ever Miss - the best ever'.  It's the only pussy juice i ever want to taste. x

Monday, 28 January 2019

A Month Of Downs And Ups

A whole month....that's how long since i've posted something here.  That's not like me at all and of course there's a reason.  Stress. Emotional turmoil. Sadness.  Four weeks of quite horrible feelings.  When you are sissy and the femininity within you is not happy then it's impossible to be able to write a blog.  Miss must have noticed...and i am sure you all have too...the lack of blogs from me.
Before Christmas Miss gave me an implicit instruction, an order. 'You need to find yourself a new Mistress sissy'.  She meant it.  What i failed to interpret was that She also meant that if i did that then it would be over between us.  i did exactly what She said and 'found' a new Mistress.  We have had a meeting, overnight, where i was sexually humiliated.  There really is no need for the details, Miss knows them all anyway.  At that time i genuinely felt that Miss had given up on me and had had enough of my girlish sissiness. Was She really sending me a message that She wanted me to stop being a sissy? Was She hoping that She could 'get it out of my system'? i just don't know.  The truth is however that i am a sissy and i simply can't be anything else emotionally or sexually.  To not be true to yourself is not me being me.  In the days after my meeting with 'The Mistress' Miss and i sank to an all time low.  It certainly looked over.
Confusingly though, Miss and i had three wonderful lovemaking sessions during which She dressed erotically and, just like before, verbally and mentally humiliated me to orgasm.  In one of those sessions Miss again fucked my sissy pussy with a black dildo after having made me wear my butt plug.  The sex was wonderful but my mind and feelings were doing cartwheels of confusion.  She wanted to end it right?  She wanted me gone right? She was possibly going to leave Herself right?  It's all that we seemed to be doing, arguing, getting angry all of those days She was still willing to have great sex with me....i could not make any sense of it.  i loved Her but did She love me...i mean really love me? 
To me it seemed like Miss had had enough of my femininity.  At Her most upset She would say some truly cutting things.  i think that those things were Her frustrations and of course i was the rightful target.  It is very difficult to look through the eyes of someone else but it should be very easy to do it if the eyes are of the person you love so much and that you know you will never find anyone to love more.  My sissiness is my sexuality.  i do not feel right unless i am wearing women's lingerie. i cannot be anyone other than the sissy i am. 
Then the next bombshell.  Miss found my profile on a dating site and it was from that site that the other 'Mistress' made contact with me.  More anger from Miss, more hurt, more arguing, more grief, more feelings pained.  Again, i had failed to understand the true meaning of what Miss said when She told me to find another Mistress.  She meant that if i did then it would be over between us. seems now that it is not over and does confusion reign once more or has an understanding, an acceptance, finally been reached?  The 'other' Mistress is not who i love.  The 'other' Mistress will go.  The 'other' Mistress is simply a manifestation of the horrible month we had...yet...She is still there...She is still there because i am a sissy and....She is still there because i don't know if the Miss i want to be with forever really wants to be my Miss at all?  i want to lose Her, i want...i need Miss to tell me to lose Her......or has another way just made itself apparent?
'How would you feel if I took a lover'?
Those were the words Miss said to me on Saturday evening.  Words i have longed for....yearned for and hoped to hear Her say - or something similar.  My mind is in a bit of a blur right now and i hope you can understand why but i think i can recall Miss adding to that statement, or was it before the statement....something along the lines of 'since it's quite obvious this is how you are going to be all the time'.  She was referring to how i was dressed but more than that, my sissiness, the fact that i am a sissy and that's how i will always be. 
You may already be aware that we have played in the past.  Miss has had arranged one nighters with various Bulls. Some of those experiences have been wonderful for Her and some have been less than wonderful.  i don't think She ever wants those type of flings again.  i think She wants something more permanent, more satisfying, more exciting and more fulfilling  - on a regular basis and totally in Her control. 
 So why.....why did She say this and what was She saying it for?
1. Miss wants a lover.  Straightforward and simple.  Why?  Isn't that obvious?!  Although i have not asked Her that question.  Do i need to?
2. Miss wanted to test the water with my reaction and my reaction/response would help Her make Her own mind up.
As soon as She said it i felt my little clit stir and wetness in my panties.  Shocked, stunned, aroused, totally on the back-foot and for a few seconds, unable to speak.  Was this for real?  i think it was.  i probably went off on a total ramble of utter nonsense when i replied but i did my best to try and explain five very important issues for me should Miss 'take a lover'.
1. She can't run off with someone - ever-ever...just not ever!  No leaving me for anyone.  If there was even the slightest whiff of that happening then 'the Lover' would be a Man running scared.
2. Safety. Security.  Miss does not ever put Herself in any positions or situations where Her personal safety is compromised or at risk.
3. Miss must tell me that She is going to do this.  In other words, She's definitely decided to go ahead and 'take a Lover'.
4. i want to be included.  By that i mean Her lover or lovers must know about me, about sissy and that i am an important part of the dynamic.
5. Miss and i do not stop having a loving sexual relationship.  Granted there will be differences to the physical aspects with me and with a Lover or Lovers but i can never give Her up completely to anyone.
i sincerely hope i made those points clear to Miss.  So what happens next??  God knows!  Do i just sit back and let Miss get on with it?  Indeed, how will She get on with it?  Does She want to use the internet, does She want to go out somewhere with friends? Does She want me to come up with the ideas and make it happen for Her?  Or do i come up with the ideas and She uses them to make it happen?  i would willingly do whatever She asks. Amongst my random ramblings in response to Her knockout statement i talked of buying Her a special phone, wanting to help Her prepare for dates with new clothes and lingerie, a willingness to pay for restaurants, hotel rooms, providing lifts and pick ups for Her, anything that makes it seamless and enjoyable for Her. 
So many many possibilities.  If such things were predictable, here is how i could imagine one way of Miss 'taking a Lover'.....
She has an advert online.  Discreet. No photograph.  She describes Herself as a hot sexy blonde looking for fun with a reliable and trustworthy Man.  She describes Her current relationship as loving and permanent but with a lack of sexual fulfilment.  Something like Ashley Maddison. (a site set up intentionally for people to have safe and mutually satisfying affairs). Miss gets many responses - and She would!  Online messaging to start with and then eventually an exchange of pictures (with Her special phone of course!). An arranged date.  A first meeting.  i take Her and i discretely watch - unbeknown to the Man. Not a kink for me but SECURITY!
It may only take one date it may take two or three but eventually Miss will find someone who She thinks ticks all the right boxes for Her.  It is Her boxes that count - not mine.  From that moment on...She has Her lover.
If this is what Miss wants  - a lover - or maybe a spare or two as well - then what do i think would be in it for Her?
Everything this article describes:
...and....for me?  After all, that is what Miss was asking wasn't it?
A love for Her so strong that i'd be bursting with it. i'd feel so much closer to Her.  Competitive.  That's the testosterone - which can't be helped! Happy.  Happy because She would be happy. 
Perhaps most importantly for us both - how it would affect us both.  i see an end to all these stupid, relationship threatening arguments, which, all boil down to sex and me being a sissy. 
Thank you for reading all of that.  No pictures or erotic details.  They are not necessary.  What was necessary are my thoughts and musings over what has been a very difficult period for us both and the fact that we are still together shows how much we do care about each other. 
So is this the start of something? x

Saturday, 22 December 2018

Something For You sissy....

One of my overriding fantasies is of Miss coming home and showing me Her sexy black panties.  She is either still wearing them or they are presented to me.  They are a pair of panties i have bought for Her and She has either worn them to work, worn them on an evening out or worn them for a date with a lover.  In all of the scenarios there is one constant, the pretty black panties are marked with the love cream of a Real Man.  In some cases it is very fresh and obvious and in others has been there a while. 
i think i'm quite correct in saying that it is one of those things that every cuckold and budding cuckold hopes to have happen to them and it is without doubt a most humiliating and arousing experience to be shown the evidence of love making. 
So what does the sissy cuckold do when presented with such a gift?  There are many choices and those choices should always be determined by the HotWife, The Lover or both of them.  Make the sissy wear them? (Miss has done this to me in the past with a lover, Her panties removed for the wonderful hot sex She had with Her Man and then She made me wear them). Make the sissy clean the panties with her tongue?  Make the sissy hand wash them? Make the sissy keep them as a reminder of the occasion?  Make the sissy buy a new pair in exactly the same style - fully knowing that the same fate probably awaits them too?
In my fantasies Miss has made the most of an unexpected opportunity and the sex whilst quick and 'heat of the moment' was hot, passionate and wonderful.  No condoms to hand and Miss insisting that He withdraw and come where He chooses.  Her lover seizing the moment and spraying His love all over the pretty black lace, either on the front covering Her beautiful sex or splashed over the rear.  Miss relishing the feeling of His hot cream on Her panties and on Her skin and knowing that now they are marked just how perfect a present they will be for Her sissy. 
The sissy will of course be extremely grateful for even being considered. x  

Friday, 21 December 2018

Nice Arse!

i'm going to boast on this one.....i do have a cute arse!  Genetically gifted to me but also maintained by a relatively healthy lifestyle and a sport filled youth which continued well into my late 30's.  The buns are not as firm as they once were and i will admit to be lagging behind in my usual physical workout routine but on the whole and certainly in comparison to my peer group in age, i've got a good set of buns!
Those buns however, especially for a sissy are of no use to anyone unless delicately adorned in a pair of pretty panties.  Whilst a Real Man will enjoy having a nice firm arse with which to appeal to Women, for a sissy like me having a nice arse means that panties will look so much better. 
All of my pretty panties are either full cut with a full bottom area or French brief style.  Thongs do not cut it for me - actually, they would cut it and painfully so!  As with most lingerie and clothes there are sometimes a particular piece that fits oh so well and looks wonderful on.  These pretty blue lace panties seem to fit me perfectly and almost provide that gorgeous womanly shape when worn. 
Of course, the view from the front is considerably more disappointing to a Real Woman.  There's no getting away from the fact that tucked away in there is a tiny cock that simply cannot satisfy a Woman.  Two nights ago Miss made sure i knew that with a delightful and very truthful verbal humiliation of my cock whilst we enjoyed pleasures together in Her chamber. 
The saying went 'nice arse shame about the face'.  For me it has to be 'nice arse shame about the cock'. x

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

Bridal Bliss

Is there a sissy out there who doesn't wonder what it would be like to wear a gorgeous wedding dress and go through a 'ceremony'?  Whether that 'ceremony' be with a sissy and her Mistress, or in some cases the sissy and a Real Man, or in my fantasy wedding, the sissy, my Mistress and a Real Man (even Men!).
Some years back i owned three absolutely gorgeous wedding dresses.  All three were classic vintage full Princess gown designs.  Enormously full, elaborately decorated with delightful bows and ribbons and utterly delicious to wear and feel.  All three were pure white and a mixture of heavy rustling satin, taffeta and lace.  Two of them had wonderfully large bows tied at the back for even more femininity.  They were full skirted on their own but to enhance that effect even more i added a full hooped petticoat.  To make the look so sissy perfect i also had a full net veil held to my head with a very pretty tiara band and long white lace gloves.  White 3" heels with bows completed each dress.
Just the outwear was enough to make me feel oh so girly and sissied but the femininity did not stop there.  Underneath all of this frothy delectation my lingerie.  Sometimes a full lace and satin basque with suspenders.  Sometimes a gorgeous white lace bra, panties and suspender belt.  Whatever the lingerie, it was always white stockings, either plain or beautifully patterned with bows.  When i was feeling particularly girly and cuckolded i'd wear my white satin pair of special sissy cuckold panties with the words 'sissy cuckold' embroidered over my tiny cock and three luscious layers of ruffles adorning the rear.
i had so much fun, pretending to be the bride, the ultimate experience of femininity. The dress so full and heavy, swishing over my nylons, restrictive around my waist, enhancing my breasts - a total sissy sensory overload!  i fantasised about this scenario....
My wedding day to Mistress.  A special ceremony in the appropriately named 'Chapel For Cuckold Consummation'.  Guests invited.  A 'Best Man' (A regular lover of Mistress). Friends of Mistress who know....friends of mine who know and a special group of guests...six hot studs whose function becomes clear later.  A special registrar to perform the 'ceremony'. 
Everyone is seated and when the music begins, i make my entrance.  To a mixture of oooohhhhs and ahhhhhs, i sashay and mince up the centre of the gathered guests, the rustling of my dress almost overwhelming the music.  My little cock is so hard, encased in it's pair of beautiful sissy panties.  The full dress conceals any signs of it.  My veil conceals my prettily made up face.  i could almost be a Woman but everyone knows.....i clutch my posy at my thrusting bust, my heels click loudly, the dress sways and moves with each of my mincing steps.  i am in heaven!  i hear some titters and giggles from Women which only enhances the erotic humiliation.  i reach the front and stand before the registrar. 
Then...Mistress enters, with Her 'Best Man'.  Arm in arm.  i can't see them, i'm facing forward.  All i can sense is the reaction from the guests.  It is one of complete appreciation and delight.  i want to turn round...i can't.  Then She appears beside me and oh so beautiful.  Her dress is modern and stylish yet remains feminine.  No veil.  A subtle yet sexy hint of cleavage and a long split up one side of the dress.  Not for my benefit!  Mistress looks at me and licks Her lips...i blush profusely.  Then He arrives on my other side.  Her 'Best Man'.  So much bigger than me, muscles ripping in a well cut suit.  His impressive bulge in the trousers unmistakably obvious.  He's smirking. 
A hush in the audience as the registrar speaks:
'We won't keep you long as we all know the Bride and the Best Man have more pressing things to attend to but let me first affirm with this sissy a few understandings before we dismiss her.
1. Your Mistress will consummate your marriage with a better Man, a Real Man.  A Man who will give Her the sexual pleasures you can't.
2. You will serve them both sissy in any way they choose.
3. You will be loved by your Mistress in other ways sissy and be required to pleasure Her when She wants.
4. Your own pleasure is entirely controlled by your Mistress.
To each 'understanding' i had to nod my head and say 'yes'. Once those were complete i am ordered by the registrar to leave the service in the traditional sissy cuckold way.  Taking my cue, i turn to face the guests - all of them smiling, with that knowing look of my utter humiliation.  i knew what i had to do.  Lifting the front of my dress until my panties were exposed.  My tiny cock pressing against the front but still hardly noticeable, my girly wetness so obviously seen.  Slowly i step back through the guests and almost as one the laughter erupts. 
As i leave the building, i turn to look back at Mistress but She is lost in a deep passionate tongue entwining kiss with Her 'Best Man', Her hands gripping His firm arse, His hands caressing Her back.  The laughter becomes applause. x
(i've quite enjoyed writing this so it's tempting to do a follow on - The Reception perhaps?)

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

She's Back!

If you recall from my previous blog Miss had decided that She no longer wanted to be my 'Miss' and that i was to look elsewhere....
It's now Saturday and we are off to spend the night in a hotel apartment and watch a show.  I'm still feeling very down with what happened last night.  Packing for the trip away i select as much girly femmy things as i can physically get into my case. i even almost pack a dress and blouse and skirt.  i'm thinking well why not....why not just go out on Saturday night looking completely sissied.  It's not as if Miss is bothered any more.  i pack my butt plug, might as well put that in my pussy later too.  i decide against any outer Female clothing and make up for it with more pairs of pretty bras and panties, stockings, suspender belts than i am going to need.
It's not a long drive and we get to our hotel apartment in good time to get ready.  i'm already wearing a gorgeous pink and cream lace bra and panties set with a deep suspender belt and natural stockings under my male clothes.  The bra is very noticeable through my male t-shirt.  That's how i want it to be, it makes me feel such a prissy sissy.  i've even brought my breast forms with me and as soon as we are in the apartment i am out of my male clothes, breast forms inserted into my pretty bra and am in 100% sissy mode.
The cooking facilities are basic but good enough for me to get the dinner ready for us both before we hit the town.  Miss has spent Her time showering, doing Her hair, make-up....all the things a Real Woman does.  i'm still in my pretties, enjoying the view over the city and wondering if anyone can see me.  After dinner whilst Miss gets dressed i apply my butt plug to my pussy (details of this are in an earlier blog) and then shower.  As i pass the bedroom i notice Miss dressing in a hot and sexy gold and black bra and panties set with a deep six strap suspender belt.  She is drawing up Her stockings and i ask 'Looking hot. Are you on the pull tonight?'.  She giggled and made no further comment.  As i showered i imagined Miss to actually be looking for a Real Man this evening, someone to bring home and enjoy whilst i am either banished to the outside of the apartment or made to watch. My tiny cock got quite hard thinking of that.
i chose a new set of pretty lingerie for the evening.  Pale pink bra and panties with a pink and white lace suspender belt holding up taupe stockings.  Male mode clothing on top of that in a set which Miss likes a lot, a white dress shirt and dark blue trousers.  i loved the fact that my bra lace and outline could be seen through the shirt.  i really wanted it to be noticed when we were out. Miss did not seem to notice, or if She did, made no comment.  Miss finished Her dressing with a lovely dark brown floaty dress, very classy, very up-market and added a pair of black spike heel boots.  She looked absolutely stunning.
i was still getting to terms with Miss having told me that She was no longer being my 'Miss' and i was not calling Her Miss throughout the day or the early evening.  Things seemed to change once we were at the show however.  It was here that Miss started expressing an interest in how i was coping/enjoying the butt plug.  At one point in the show She asked me to hold Her drink and called me 'sissy'.  Shock!!  So naturally i replied 'yes Miss'.  Just like that and without warning She had come back to me and my little cock twitched as my panties got slightly wet.  From being very sad and confused i was now totally focussed on Her again.  Looking at Her sexiness, knowing what She was wearing, being happy to be Her sissy.
The show was brilliant - we will be doing something similar again most certainly.  Back at the apartment Miss and i were lounging on the sofa. My butt plug was making its presence known every time i moved my position and Miss was enjoying watching me squirm with sissy delight.  i took a major gamble and asked Miss if She wanted any pleasures from me.  Her reply was very much in Her style: 'Maybe sissy.  Or maybe i'll make you kneel in front of me and you'll play with your little sissy clit into a condom'.  Oh Miss!!  Again i felt the hotness in my panties as my sissy excitement increased.  i began to gently caress Miss on Her legs, Her back and neck so pleased that She was back. 
After some minute Miss then decided that 'we should test the bed springs' and with no further encouragement needed i followed Her into the apartment bedroom.  Miss divulged Herself of Her dress to be left in Her hot sexy lingerie.  Was She still going to allow me to pleasure Her?  Indeed She was but not before She made me remove my pretty bra.  We spent some time in bed allowing our bodies to warm the bedclothes before i gently began stroking Miss through the lace and satin of Her panties.  i asked if i would need a condom and Miss said that would not be necessary.  i wanted to worship Her sex, to almost thank Her for coming back as my Miss so gently i moved down between Her stocking clad legs and gently flicked my tongue over Her panty covered sex.  Soon i had moved the panties aside and was licking gratefully at Her wonderful mons, 
Miss wanted to feel something inside Her and with only my little cock available to Her at that time instructed me to get on top.  No condom remember.  It felt wonderful to be inside Her and as always it took a huge effort not to cum prematurely.  Looking down at Miss under me, Her breasts in their sexy lace bra, Her deep suspender belt framing Her panties, Her stockings spread wide.  A sight for a Real Man to behold and one for a sissy to be incredibly grateful for.  Miss wanted me to make harder thrusts into Her 'fuck me harder sissy, like a lover would, like a Real Man'.  i did my best to comply and Miss worked Her fingers on Her clit to make up for the lack of cock inside Her.  She came hard.  'Now are you going to cum for me sissy'? She asked.
How could i not and when have i ever not??!!  i wanted to last as long as i could and perhaps i tried to hard to last.  Miss had enjoyed Her cum, Her pleasure had been had, She really did not have to then allow me to have any pleasure at all.  i kept stopping myself from cumming and looked down to see Miss looking somewhat bored and indifferent.  It was if She was just going through the motions now.  This was not pleasure for Her, it was something She had hoped would be over quickly - as it usually is!  For a sissy however this just aroused me even more and made me fully realise that my little cock was not providing Her with the slightest bit of fulfilment - even after Her orgasm.  i knew then, knew that this was, in Her mind, rubbish sex, that being 'fucked' (hardly the right word!) by a sissy is always going to disappoint.  Miss sensed i'd noticed, i think She could tell i had recognised the signs so to further the erotic humiliation She told me that She could hardly feel my cock.  That did it....i moaned and whimpered like the prissy sissy i am, feeling my girly cum wash over me as the tiny spurts of sissy juice weakly ejaculated from my small cock.
i held Her close and told Her that i love Her so much.  We fell asleep very quickly.
In the morning, i had added a very pretty baby doll before going into the kitchen area to make tea for Miss.  i duly delivered this to Her and sneakily crept back into the bed beside Her.  Something i would never do at home without permission!  As is always the case in the mornings, i was feeling very horny and sissied. i'd just woken up next to Miss, actually slept with Her, She'd let me quite clearly know with subtle body language during our coupling that my efforts the night before were that of a pantywaist. i took another chance and told Her that i was still horny and would She maybe allow me to play with my excuse of a cock into a condom and help me with some teasing and humiliation? Not until you've made me another cup of tea sissy was Her reply.  Some things will never change!
Initially, Miss wrapped Her lovely fingers around my little cock and gently stroked me up and down.  Her comments were wonderfully belittling and cutting. 'Not very big is it sissy'....'Not much a cock at all'......Real Men have much more than this sissy'.  i got as hard as i could do with such humiliation and got permission from Miss to put a condom on.  Too me there are not many more demeaning things than to have to wear a condom in front of my Miss.  Once it was on i took over the duties of working my cock up and down.  Miss was in wonderful form with Her verbal assault on my manhood.  'I'm amazed the condom has not come off sissy, it's that small'.....Can you cum sissy, I bet it's not much when you do'.....'Pathetic little sissy squirts'......Not like a Real Man cums sissy, Real Men don't wear panties do they sissy'.  i had no chance of lasting more than a few minutes before my sissy spurts (perhaps two or three) dribbled out into the condom.  i moaned so girlishly, rubbing my free hand over my suspender belt, totally agreeing with everything Miss was saying with girly 'Oh yes Miss' replies.
Breakfast, made by me, another shower for us both, new bra and panties for me and then time to go back home.  We had a great time away.  Miss loved the show and i was so pleased that She has not followed through with Her intention to 'not be my Miss anymore'.  The last few days have confirmed that as She has been referring to me as 'sissy' and me Her as 'Miss'.  i can't explain what happened on Friday the way it did.  Miss hasn't explained either.  Maybe no explanation is needed? 
A very emotional rollercoaster for me over that weekend.  i'm sure Miss would have been having some deep thoughts as well.  She's back. x